


Can't let go

by Kosakoni



Category: X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) - Fandom, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Blow Jobs, Charles could walk again, Domestic Fluff, Erik has Feelings, Forgiveness, Kidnapping, M/M, Mind Sex, Protective Erik, Psychological Torture, Sex in the garden, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-02-07 20:54:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1913487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kosakoni/pseuds/Kosakoni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Update - For my dear readers, just a little information. I'm Not deleting this story, nor I'm stopping the writing. But before I will continue, it will be overwritten. I hope you'll understand. And I'm very sorry I haven't done this before. But someone told me this story isn't very well gramatically written and yes it's true. Since it's also not my first language and I'm still learning - so ... For everyone whose reading it anywhere, I'm just saying. It's not yet beta-readed. But I will update, if the first chapters are finished. </p><p> </p><p>Erik can't let go of Charles. So he appear one night, which will change his and also Charles' life. But also the future of the world. Because without a mutant like Magneto, who will fight radically for their future? And while Charles can't let them down, he must accept, that there is a big difference between reality and wishful thinking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coming back ...

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again.  
> I have a new project. Hope you'll enjoy it. Erik will be a little softer, but neither he'll let go of his visions, while Charles will be wrecked about the news that he will probably never walk again. In the middle between their personal problems we see how deep the two of them will make a bond, stronger, than ever before. But it will be also the weak point of theirs. 
> 
> Hope really you'll like it.  
> This is my second english fiction, so if there are any misspelling, I hope you can forgive me. I'm really doing my best to avoid them. 
> 
> So if you have any questions or comments, I would be really happy to read them. 
> 
> Love & Greets

There are some things Erik isn't good at. But that doesn't mean he wouldn't try them. Because he's just like that. Determined to master them. Sadly, there are some things … he cannot master, because they are things, he is determined to ignore.

 

And then … there is Charles.

 

Charles Xavier. 24 Years old. Doctoral Degree in genetics. A brunette, blue eyed beauty, who’s a genius and at the same time so naive it could break him his heart. If he had one.

 

“Y've a heart ...”

 

Charles words were slurred with sleep and Erik breathes in deeply, before taking a step more out of the shadow he's lurking. Cuba lays only two weeks away and while he was determined to let go, hold the distance to Charles, he just … he just fucking couldn't. Not now, not with some news from Emma, that Charles' legs had probably a paralysis from the shot he had get into his spine.

 

“If it would be so, you could still walk.”

 

_There were times I couldn't walk because of you and it was so good._

 

It must be the fact, that Charles were still half asleep, because Erik was sure he shouldn't hear that thought. But he had and so he feels his face heat up. And not only his face, as some pictures suddenly makes his own mind into a porn. Just when he sees himself fucking Charles over the table in Hanks lab, he regretted having his helmet left behind.

 

_Hate this bloody thing …_

 

“You just hate that you couldn't read my mind when I wear it.”

 

Slowly Charles was sitting up. His long, lean arms were quivering. And Erik doesn't know if it was still from sleep or because he wasn't strong enough to hold himself up. He just know, he wanted to come nearer and hold him … 

 

But half open, deep blue eyes were looking at him angry.

So he doesn't … 

 

“Fuck you, Erik! You doesn't even know why I hate this fucking dip shit, so just hold your fucking mouth.”

 

Erik know out of first hand what a dirty mind the younger man had. But he hadn't heard him say something like this … ever. And it makes him a little hotter than he was. Because fuck it was hot hearing him swear.

 

“Not your … bloody … out, Erik! Go out of my fucking bedroom. If you want something, then come when I'm not asleep and don't hide like a fucking crazy creep in the shadows. You're not the phantom of the opera and I'm not your woman to stalk.”

 

For one moment he was thinking about just leaving. But - Charles may be angry at him and say all those words with these certain tone in his voice - as he was looking into his eyes, Erik couldn't. Because there wasn't any hint of all those anger Charles may held for him. There was just … pain and deep sadness. 

 

“Maybe I'm here, hiding in the shadows, because I know you doesn't want to see me?”

“Doesn't want to - ...”

 

_Bloody idiot! If I wouldn't wanted him here I would have make him go the first second I had felt his damn mind, why the fuck are he thinking this? But maybe it's not a bad thing he thinks so. He could go and would never see me like this. What if they are right and I will never walk again? What if … What if … What, what, what …_

 

Erik was suddenly feeling uneasy. Because … he had the feeling, Charles didn't know he was broadcasting all his thoughts into Eriks mind. He wanted to say something - anything. But he couldn't. Charles thoughts were so … taken, he just couldn't. But then there was a pain in his head, he had never felt before. It was blinding and it wasn't his own. It was Charles' and was getting heavier with each 'What if'.

 

“Charles … Charles, stop.”

 

Slowly, because the pain was so heavy in his head, he was going to Charles bed.

 

“Charles, stop it.”

 

Erik thought it would help if he would talk louder. But it didn't. His steps were uneasy and just at the moment he was at the edge of the bed, he was sinking down onto it. Now nearer, he could see some dark spots on Charles face. Only to realize it was blood, running out of Charles' nose, while he was sitting there totally apathetic.

 

A little scarred - because, fuck, he had never seen Charles like this - he gripped the small shoulders and shaking the younger man a little. Hoping it would bring him out of what ever the fuck he was doing. But he was just staring into nothing. Bleeding and staring. Making his head hurt so much, Erik was thinking about vomiting. But instead …

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

Erik didn't know any other way, so he just closed his eyes and letting his hand meet Charles' cheek. Gently he was holding his face, while pushing all his feelings into the Telepath. A little gasp make him open his eyes again and looking into wide, blue.

 

“Oh … I'm so … I didn't …”

“I know, I know, Charles, but please let me ...”

 

Slowly, because he didn't know how Charles would be react, he took a tissue from the bedside and pressing the soft fabric under Charles' nose. The confused stare and little motion back away from his hand, makes his heart clench and his throat burn.

 

“Your nose is bleeding ...”

“I … you didn't need to …”

 

Charles was suddenly still. Then, suddenly he was taking the tissue from Eriks hand, backing little away from him - looking at the side.

 

_Why is he even caring? Why can't he just leave me alone? Was it not clear that we don't want the same? That he don't love - …_

 

And just like that the thought was stopping at the same time, as Charles was suddenly looking shocked at him.

 

“You should go!”

 

But Erik wasn't sure who was more shocked.

Charles, because he was finally understanding, that he was broadcasting all his thoughts, fears and feelings into Erik.

Or Erik self, because of what Charles was thinking. Believing, that he had never loved him.

 

“No, no, I … Charles, what you're thinking is not - ...”

“I know! Don't you think I don't know why you put this fucking thing between us? Because you don't want to have me in your head and … that's exactly why I think you should go! Because I cannot … not … with you and … _this_ and …”

 

With his free hand, Charles was making a gesture at his legs at the same time, as his voice was breaking. Only a second away from tearing up. It was breaking Eriks heart. More than the goodbye on the beach. More than he would show, but he had enough from hiding.

 

“I'm sorry, Charles.”

 

The brunette nods, while he was holding his hand up, to cover his eyes. But never saying something. Just thinking desperately.

 

_Just want you to go, please go, go, go …_

 

And while the voice in his head was so fucking desperate, Erik was only a moment away from following, as he was hearing something very deep - very sad and - _Gott -_ very pleadingly under the stormy thoughts.

 

_Please don't go … please not again, please … don't let me alone!_

 

“ _Verdammt, Charles_!”

 

Erik could feel his own pain, his own desire, as he was grabbing Charles hand, to see into his blue eyes. So fucking wet and full of fear for being alone again. And it was making his heart and soul ache so hard, that he just couldn't take his feelings anymore. Because … Schmidt was dead. There wouldn't be any danger for Charles anymore. And even if, he know the younger could help himself. But, now he must save him from another thing. Thinking clearly ...

 

_ You're not alone … not anymore,  _ Liebling. 

 

… as he takes Charles trembling form into his arms. Locking him into a tight embrace, while lying next to him down. Wet cheek pressing down again his neck, while long fingers were clenching into his black polo shirt. 

 

_ Don't say … please Erik, don't … if you don't mean it … I cannot bear this again. Not again, not with you. _

 

At the beach he was such a idiot. He was so angry and hurt, hearing Charles say, they didn't want the same. Because he wanted him by his side. Forever. Hearing the brunette say something like that … it was like a stab in his chest. And at the same time he was thinking it could be saver for Charles, to be very much away from him. Because he would always hurt the people he loved. 

 

Suddenly there was a hard shove against his chest and Charles were gasping against his throat. Looking at him, with wide, wet, and very deep blue eyes. And Erik knows Charles had heard him. 

 

“You … do?”

 

He doesn't need the full question - doesn't need to hear the word, Charles was swallowing. And while he had never said this one word - never really embraced this  _ feeling _ … Because he had only loved his family, he just didn't even know he would be capable to  _ love _ … 

 

But now he knows … 

 

“Yes, Charles. Yes. I love you.”

 

He watches Charles, who was just looking at him. His mouth was a little bit open and he looked so … so scarred and unsure, it was hurting him. Then there were more tears, running down his cheeks, before he was breathing in. Tremulous. 

 

“Why?”

 

Why? The simple question clenches his heart so damn hard, but then Charles were in his arms again. Pulling him down onto his body. Eagerly. Desperate. And while he was trying to hold himself a little up, because he was bigger than Charles, weigh more than the lean body under his, Charles were shaking a little his head, on his neck.

 

“No, need … please, need to feel you.”

“Charles.”

“Please.”

 

Erik looked down. Pleading, blue eyes meet his and he just couldn't … 

 

Slowly he was letting himself sinking down onto Charles' body. Feeling suddenly a frantic drum against his chest, only to realize it was Charles' heartbeat. Not a beat slower than his own heart was beating. Hard and fast. Gently his legs shoved a little between Charles, so he wouldn't burden them. At the same time he was swearing about himself. 

 

“I'm so sorry … I didn't want to … don't want to hurt you so much!”

“I know, Erik.”

 

Soft, warm hands were gliding over his back, to his neck, into his hair. It was the moment, he was realizing he self was crying. Letting all the hurt, anger and pain out. All his feelings since Cuba. Over thinking the same moment ever and ever again. Hating himself for hurting Charles so much. Mentally and bodily.

 

_ Sh, it's okay … it's …  _ es … ist okay?

 

Some noise between a laugh and cry were leaving his throat. Suddenly feeling a little better like this. Open and free. Not … alone anymore. 

 

_ It's okay, but, Charles … your german sounds horrible. _

 

Beneath him he could feel Charles shaking. And as he lift his head he could see Charles laughing a little. It was this picture - maybe with a little few tears and smears blood on Charles perfectly, beautiful face - of Charles happiness on his face, that was bringing this warm, tingle feeling back into his body. Letting him feel so  _ so  _ warm. 

 

_ Then you should probably teach me to speak it without sounding horrible. _

_ Yes … maybe I should.  _

 

A little smile was tugging at his lips, while Charles were closing content his eyes. He wished this would never be over … 

 

~*~ to be continued ...


	2. Learn to walk again ...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having Erik stay in his life is all Charles ever wanted. But ... now that he had this, he wanted another little thing back ...  
> But what would he do, if he must choose between those two?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there. I just wanted to say thank you. For the comments, the kudos' and all. Thank you so much, you made it so easy for me to write this. Because I have so much fun at this, now that I'm not so unsure about all I write. 
> 
> The updates will be one time in a week. If I can make it. But it should work out. 
> 
> I hope you'll all enjoy this chapter and I'm so eagerly to hear it from you, so ... maybe you want to leave me a comment. Would make me much more happier. 
> 
> Have fun  
> Bye

 

“No!”

“Erik. I don't ask for your permission. I merely was informing you about it.”

 

Slowly Charles fold his arms, while looking up to Erik. He ignored the tall man to his right - red skin and long tail - Azazel, before looking to him and smiling gently. 

 

“You can sit down, if you'd like.”

 

Azazel makes a quit nod, before he was sitting down next to Erik. Slowly, but never making a motion of interfere. In the last five months, they have found a … you could say … arrangement. Because neither of them wanted to let go of their ideas. And god, there were so long nights of screaming, argumentation and fighting in their bedroom, it had all driven nuts. 

 

So they had made a deal. Charles wouldn’t interfere in Eriks missions against the human army, when they would do their missions without any murder. But at the same time, Erik would let Charles makes his own decision about his - their - life. Because - and with three weeks of cold glances and icy silence the longest fight they two ever had - of the fight about Charles, using a serum from Hank, curing his paralysis. While Charles was happy to know, how much Erik cared for him, it was also a little oppressive. 

 

And while their argumentation wasn't just about their life, also the life of their friends and mutant followers, they had made the agreement of someone mediate between them. The most of time, it was Raven. Today Charles wanted it to be Azazel. 

 

“And I think you have misunderstood, too. I have said 'no' because I forbid it.”

“You … you forbid it? Erik, my dear, you cannot forbid me anything!”

 

Charles was in need to hold onto his control. What the fuck was Erik thinking? He could see it himself, but he wouldn't. While they have a really lovely and beautiful relationship, full of trust and honesty, it's the opposite of views they have and what made them fight more, than it was maybe healthy in a relationship. But it was also one of the things that was making their bond so tight. 

 

His smile was knowingly, while his eyes were set hard onto Eriks. Around them he could feel the tension building. Making the metal around them vibrating and Charles began to let Erik feel a little more relaxed.

 

“Stop, making me relaxed, Charles! What the fuck are you even thinking, to consider this? Again! Do you remember what happened the last time he gave you a supposed cure?”

 

Instantly he was stopping his power. Letting go of Eriks mind wasn't something he could do easily. Because this mind was speaking to him in such a beautiful way … 

 

But before he could answer him, Azazel was leaning toward them over the table. Looking in his suit nice as always. 

 

“Can I say something?”

“No!”

“Please do, as you'll like.”

 

With his words, he was smiling softly at Azazel. While the mutant was looking always cool and reserved around Charles, Erik had said - about a few weeks ago - that Azazel was having a soft spot for Charles. At first he had brushed it aside, but then he was seeing some signs, before he was really searching for them. 

 

It was the way Azazel was looking at him. Not just looking, but also seeing Charles. 

 

For an example, there were days in which Charles was just as depressed as direct after getting the information about his paralysis. And while he should be happy about not being dead, he just … hate the fact, that he'll never walk again. The sadness and the hate came as soon as it could go away, but it wasn't always something he could live with. So he hide himself from all people in his study. Trying to pretend he was working on his publicly about mutant-rights, while he was just sitting in his chair, head buried in his too weak arms and wishing it would be just a fucking bad dream. It was a deep pain in him, he wouldn't want to share with anybody. So he just hide it in his study and also deep inside himself. So deep, he had sometime the fear it could break through his weak walls around his power. 

 

About forty-seven days he woke up onto this feeling. He always woke up after Erik, who was running his rounds around the mansion. And while he was always sending him his sleepy love, on this morning he just can't do it. Can't, because he could feel Erik always enjoying his run. And on this morning this feeling would be something he couldn't bear. So he was rising, making no effort of his neatly appearance. He just brushed his teeth, running with his fingers through his short hair and put on some clothes he could approachable take out of his closet. Which were a blue button down and a black trouser. He didn't forgot his shoes. He just wanted to burn them. 

 

Rolling into his study was a short trip. Still, he came across Sean - “Good morning, Professor. Today no shoes?”, he's teasingly questioned. Jonas - “Morning, Prof. Some rough night, yeah?”, winking flirty at Charles like always and driving Erik nuts with it - every time. And Azazel, who's just nodding cool at him, while Charles shows a smile like always on these days. Gently, but always a fake. 

 

And it's Erik, who let him be, whenever he never making the first contact, because his friend is still a little unsure after Cuba with him. But it's on this particular day, Azazel, who surprises him. 

 

Because after three hours of just sitting and staring apathetic on the wall, there is suddenly a load puff of red before him. Startling Charles so hard, he's almost falling out of his chair. But he could safe himself from this awkward moment, pretending, nothing was wrong with a fake smile. Fake, but fading, as he saw Azazel, putting a tray on his blank papers. On the tray were a sandwich - a little sloppy made - and a big cup of coffee. Steaming hot and smelling too awfully great to be true. 

 

“You shouldn't do this to yourself. It's not healthy.”

 

The softness in Azazels tone made his throat clench. But he was smiling anyway.

 

“What do you mean? I'm fine.”

“No … you're not. You shouldn't hide yourself on these days.”

 

The gently tap of a fingertip against his temple startled Charles so much, he was backing away. But with Azazel suddenly in front of him, between table and himself it wasn't easy because the wall was right behind him. He was trapped. And it was so suddenly that he couldn't hold the tears anymore. 

 

It was the first time he had let someone see him like this. Because he had not even Erik told about his fears, his sadness, about his lost. About these days and what he was doing - because he was ashamed about it. Weeping about something he couldn't change. But there was a red hand, very strong and very warm on his shoulder and he was just letting all out. Not with words, but with his power. And Azazel let him. Without saying anything. Jut … taking. 

 

After hours he was feeling, for the first time since his paralysis, free. And it was the last time he had such a day … 

 

That was the reason why he wanted Azazel today here. Not only as a mediator between them, but as a friend, who maybe understood him in this particular matter. Because he had let him feel all about this matter. 

 

“I doesn't think you should do this. The last time you had done this, you've lost your power.”

“Thank you, Azazel.”

 

Charles were blinking. 

Erik was thanking him and Charles could not understand … 

 

“What? I have thought you would - ...”

“Would you support? Yes, Charles. But not like this. I'm not forbidding you something, because it's you body, you're power and you're decision to make. I just … I'm pleading you, to let it go.” 

 

While Erik was feeling smug and Azazel looking him right in the eyes, Charles was right away exploding. 

 

“No! What the … you two doesn't even know why I want this.”

“Because you can walk again.”

 

Breathing deep in, Charles looked at Erik. He know, his friend would love him with or without his legs. Even without his power, Erik had kissed and fucked him. Fucked, maybe because he was a little angry at the false cure, but the sex was good. Like in old days, he could wrap his legs around Eriks slim waist and pushing … he could … not just wishing he could. 

 

“This isn't about walking, Erik. It's about to be … free. Not needing a fucking chair to get into the next room or ask for someone others help. What if I'm someday alone?”

“You'll never be alone, Charles. I'm always there for you, helping you.”

 

Maybe it was his damn anger or the fact how gentle Eriks voice suddenly became. But it just … setting something free.

 

“I don't want your fucking help and of all people I knew, I had thought especially _you_ would understand the wish for freedom.”

 

The lamp over their heads was screeching and Charles knew if Erik wouldn't love him, the chair would have had the same future. But he do  _ love  _ Charles, so he just stood up and held his hand out toward Azazel. Silently, but staring Charles piqued down. 

 

It only takes a second, the two were gone and with them Charles' suddenly anger. 

Instead he was feeling ashamed and rueful. How could he say something like that? Making a fucking comparison between the holocaust and his paralysis. 

 

“Fuck!”

 

~*~

 

Six days … 

 

Six days without any trace, any sign, any something of Erik. Even his mind was gone and it was driving Charles crazy. In the night he was crying, pleading that Erik hasn't done something stupid. That he would come back. But Charles also knew, that the man was very stubborn and he couldn't hold it against him. Not, with what he had said … 

 

So he just waits. Even if a bitter voice in his head whispers, he shouldn't hope to see him ever again … 

 

~*~

 

It was on the seventh day, as a loud puff woke him up. Sitting up suddenly and blinking into the darkness.

 

“Azazel? Is …”

 

The light to his right flickered on and Charles forced himself not to blink, even if the sudden light were hurting his eyes. Letting them tear. But he could see Erik. His hair, mussy but also flattened. Charles had known he had wore the damn helmet. 

 

But not now. So all was suddenly pouring out of his mind …

It was also possible that the hole mansion could hear it, but it didn't matter. 

 

_ I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said something like that and … I didn't wanted to hurt you, it was … Had thought about it and it's just so dumb and weak and … Just don't go ever again … couldn't bear it without you, I love you, no matter what you're doing … Stupid, to do such a comparison. I didn't even mean it like that, just … Would choose between this and you, would ever choose you, every time, always … please don't go again …  _

 

“Charles, Charles, you must … please calm yourself.”

 

Warm hands settled on his shoulders, before Eriks arms were wrapping around him and Charles was home. Clinging tightly onto Erik, he didn't saw Azazel disappearing. Just thanking him for bringing him Erik back, in his mind. 

 

“It's okay, Charles. It's okay.”

 

After he had finally calmed himself, they were lying onto their sides. Erik lay behind Charles, with his arms tight around him. Holding him and thinking about beautiful, snowy mountains. Calming Charles mind. Calm, but never forgetting what he had said, Charles' fingers were around Eriks left wrist. He was looking at the numbers on the inside of Eriks forearm and feeling for the very first time in his life revengeful. Wishing he could have been there for Erik, making every one of those people beg for forgiveness, before he would have made them regret. 

 

_ Didn't know you could be like this … and you shouldn't wish for something like that. That's my path, not yours to make,  _ Liebling. 

 

A soft kiss was pressed against the hairline in his neck. Letting him shiver. Charles closed his eyes, but never forgetting the numbers. He knows them since the first time he had saw them. It was their first trip on their way of convince Mutants join them. The first night, in their motel room, after Erik has come out of the bathroom in nothing more than a towel around his slim waist. It was surprising Charles, because his friend never had showed any skin behind his wrist or jaw, around other persons - only to him. 

 

_ You knew everything, so ... why hiding? _

 

_ Loved you, since the first time, I had felt your mind in the water. You were so … beautiful.  _

 

_ I'm a  _ verdammtes  _ mess of revenge and hate.  _

 

_ You're more than that. I have said that then. I will say it as long, till you believe it yourself.  _

 

After this, there was silence in their minds. Just snow and a chill, which was very nice in his head. But then Erik was cuddling closer - even if he thought it couldn't get nearer, long legs interwove with his own. 

 

_ Azazel had told me about your … feelings. I'm so sorry I hadn't done anything. It's just … I had thought you wanted not to let me see, so I just haven't …  _

 

_ You shouldn't have known something. I didn't wanted anyone to see. He just … surprised me with it, that's all. _

 

_ He had helped you through this. If you want this so badly, then … then … I don't interferer in this.  _

 

_ Erik, I … have thought about it and I … maybe I can someday … accept it.  _

 

There was a hot huff of breath against his neck, as Erik was nuzzling his face though his hair. Breathing deeply in and making him shiver again. 

 

_ No. I don't want you to accept it, Charles. I want you to be happy.  _

 

Suddenly Charles was seeing himself through Eriks memory after the first cure. It had taken him days to stand fully and alone on his own legs. His mind - no Eriks - was alone again, but Charles was grinning stupidly with tears in his eyes. And while he - Erik - wanted nothing more than to  _ feel  _ Charles' happiness, he couldn't bear the loneliness in his head. Not after beginning to love the beautiful spark and soft warmth there. 

 

_ Erik … I didn't know you … why hasn't you said something? _

 

_ You were happy. Just want you to be happy.  _

 

_ I'm only happy if you're, too. So if you don't like it … _

 

_ I want you to do it.  _

 

Charles could feel all the love, Erik was feeling for him.  _ Desire _ , for his mind, his power, his body - even in this state, he was thinking Charles were the beauty in living form. It was making him blush furiously, but also smile.  _ Longing _ , for the warmth in his mind and also on his body - around his cock - under his fingertips.  _ Lust _ , for long kisses and soft touches. But deep, very deep down Erik craved for the feeling of Charles' legs. Stroking his thighs, while sucking on his cock or spreading them apart, while he could feel Charles' muscles twitching underneath his fingertips. Feeling his strong thighs wrapping around his waist, while he was fucking Charles hard against a wall or sprawled over a lap table. Or trusting from behind in him, while Erik takes him in the shower. 

 

_ You have a very … very dirty mind, Lehnsherr.  _

 

_ Not dirtier than yours,  _ mein Schatz. 

 

Rolling him gently onto his back, Erik was leaning over Charles and kissing him full of desire and love poring through all his senses. Making it impossible to think about something else, than Erik. 

 

~*~

 

The first time Charles take the new cure from Hank, Erik is next to him. He had promised Azazel to let him know, if there would be anything go wrong. Because the Teleporter was always caring about his friend. Sometimes it makes Erik feel annoyed, how tight the two men were. But most of the time he was glad that Azazel liked Charles so much. He could protect him better, than Erik. Because the people he loved, they weren't save around him. It was good to know that there were enough people who wouldn't let Charles down … 

 

~*~

 

It takes three injections from the serum till the first reaction was setting in. 

 

It was in the middle of the night, as Erik felt something tapping against his shin. At first, he was backing away, without braking his hold onto Charles. But as the tapping become harder, he woke up. 

 

Still sleepy, he could make out a moving underneath the covers and it weren't his legs. Suddenly, all his sleepy feelings disappeared. Instead, out of instinct, the light to his right was flicking on and Erik could only gaping at sneaky, little toes wriggling free from underneath the covers. 

 

“Charles … Charles, wake up!”

“S' I'm sleep'n …”

“Not anymore. _Verdammt das willst du_ … Charles!”

 

Between tired and a little angry, Charles was sitting up, looking with half open eyes at Erik. 

 

“Bloody idiot, I'm not in the mood for this tonight. We can do it in the shower after your run.”

“I didn't woke you up because of sex, Charles.”

 

Erik couldn't fight the grin, that was spreading on his lips, taking Charles' attire in. Softly looking in his blue eyes and ignoring the cocky eyebrow flying up. 

 

“Okay, maybe not at this moment. Charles … _Liebling_ , move your feet.”

 

_ Do you want to … _

 

Part angry, part annoyed feelings spread through his body, at the same time as Charles voice shout in his head. But then he was going still. Mind and mouth. Just gaping, before looking down onto his legs. Erik could feel Charles hands gripping the bedsheets out of fear, till he was taking the long fingers between his own. Slowly and gently he moves his own feet against Charles'. But never letting him out of his sight, so he could see Charles going stiff, at the same time as he let out a soft gasp.

 

_ Can you feel this?  _

 

Breathing in, Charles head was flying toward his. Looking shocked, but at the same time so happy. His eyes were wet and striking blue. 

 

_ Yes. Erik … Erik, I can … _

 

_ And you can still hear me.  _

 

Never taking the eyes from his own feet, Charles were nodding. Erik understood. He had seen Charles after the first serum had made his effect. And they all had known that he could only walk, if he would decide himself against his Telepathy. It was with a consequence, Charles wouldn't want to live … and Erik didn't wanted to see him so ambivalent. 

 

But now … 

Now Charles had a feeling in his legs, he could move his feet and Erik could finally feel the happiness, he had so much craved feeling this, the first time. Now he could and it was making his own eyes sting from emotions. 

 

~*~

 

It's too early for Erik to woke up. But as he's looking at the clock to his left, it's only a few minutes before he would rise from himself. At the same second he's aware why he's suddenly awake. Charles' side of the bed is empty and as he let his fingers glide over the covers, they're cold. But it's not the reason of his awakening. There is something bright in his mind. And only when he see the chair empty next to the bed, he knows why. 

 

~*~

 

To find his lover isn't pretty hard. Dressed in his usually running clothes, he's standing near the gravel, as he began to hear running steps. And the nearer Charles comes, the louder become the soft gaps, the younger man makes. 

 

Slowly Erik moves onto the gravel, blocking Charles' way, whose totally out of breath but smiling so brightly, it makes his heart clench in love. 

 

“Hank said you shouldn't pressed this too hard, Charles.”

“Wish you a … good morning … too, Erik.”

 

Breathless, Charles leaned forward, with his hands prop against his knees. His longish hair hung a little wild and sweaty in his eyes and Erik wants him suddenly so much, he couldn't repress his own desire. A throaty laugh escape Charles, before he's looking up with bright blue eyes. Too bright and too beautiful - even with the lack of light at six o'clock and somewhat minutes. 

 

“I had run ... six laps ... around the mansion, Erik … just let me … one minute.”

“I give you a minute on your back, before you'll ride me.”

 

With this words, he's going straight to Charles. Cupping his red face into one hand, while the other grip him on the hip, he's leaning down and kisses him. It's not soft. It's a little messy, but arousing as their tongues meet halfway. He hears a little moan, just like a needy sound and Erik's not sure if it's Charles' or his own. 

 

His hands wander down, to soft, sexy, round buttocks, before squeezing them firmly with his fingers and then hitch Charles up on them. In an instant Charles wrapped his long legs around his hips. Whimpering in a lustful tone.

 

“Fuck, Erik … We're …”

 

_ We're in the middle of … they could see us here …  _

 

_ I do not care, Charles. Want you. Want to fuck you. Right now, right here. _

 

_ God! _

 

Erik feels the softness of wet grass under his worn out sneakers, as he's lying Charles onto the ground, next to the gravel. Looking deep into his bright, blown, blue eyes, he see that his friend wants this too. He even could feel, Charles spreading his legs in pure wanting, while Erik is looking onto his sinful, red lips. 

 

_ Fuck me, Erik.  _

 

Verdammt,  _ Charles _ !

 

He didn't know when he had last felt such a fucking despair desire for this man under him, but it was a long time ago. Not that he wanted him not every second. He do. Every moment, every second he wanted to be with him. Holding, touching, kissing Charles. But now … 

 

He hadn't seen him so beautiful like … ever. And it was making him so full of need.

 

_ Huh … thank you. I knew you wanted my le- … _

 

_ Don't even think this. I don't think you're beautiful, alone because of your legs.  _

 

He could see Charles biting his red lips. Unsure and out of doubt. Gently he lets his fingers glide over Charles' red cheek. Feeling for a moment long, dark lashes graces his fingertips, as Charles eyes fluttered close. 

 

_ No. It's just that I have never seen you so happy. Not at our first meeting, not even after our first kiss on the steps of the Lincoln memorial. To see you so happy, so free in your full emotions, Charles … it's making you so breathtaking beautiful. And it's making me falling in love with you once again. _

 

Blue eyes fluttering open again. Looking at him wet and with so much love, Erik's not sure he deserve this much of love. 

 

_ You do … more than you may think, my love. _

 

With this thoughts, Charles was leaning up to him, kissing him softly, before letting the kiss going deeper. And before he's knowing it, their clothes lay scattered around them. It's not really warm around them, but neither cold. His lips wrapped around Charles' cock, while his fingers were deep into his lover, letting him make such needy noises, it was making it so hard for Erik to concentrate. Because all he want was to thrust into him and never leave again. 

 

_ Do-do … do it, Erik, please, bloody … fuck, do it. Want to feel you. _

 

_ You feel me.  _

 

With a satisfied grin, he's leaning back. Letting Charles' cock slip free and taking in the drips of precome running down over dark, red skin. Every thrust of his fingers, let another drop run free, just like the lustful moans, Charles made. 

 

“God, your such a ...”

 

_ Jerk! _

 

Erik wasn't prepared for Charles to shoving him onto his back. His fingers slipping free, out of his hole, as Charles gets in position over Eriks own dripping erection. 

 

_ You wanted me to ride you … Erik. Don't forget this. _

 

He hadn't forgotten, he would never. So the sudden feeling, of Charles -  _ so verflucht heiß und wundervoll feucht -  _ around his own cock, was so good - too good - that he moaned without holding it back. His hands flew toward slim hips, holding and at the same time gripping them tightly. Erik knows that he would leave marks, but he couldn't control himself, while Charles pressed himself down onto him. 

 

_ Don't … fuck - you doesn't need to control … yourself - god Erik … have forgotten how good this feels like this.  _

 

Long fingers were set on his shoulders, before gripping them. Holding onto them, as Charles began to move himself. Erik opened his eyes - never closed them in awareness - and he was lost in the sight above him. His arousal were shooting high, as he takes it in.

 

Charles' dark, sweaty hair plastered at his forehead. 

Checks beautiful red, the redness spread from there, down over his neck and his chest. 

He was biting his sinful, red lips.

And his eyes were closed, like he couldn't concentrate if he would look at Erik. But he wanted to see those deep, blue eyes. Wanted … 

 

_ Open your eyes, Charles.  _ Sieh mich an.

 

Charles' movement stutters a little, what takes him by surprise - and god it was so,  _ so _ good. Then Erik saw long lashes fluttering, before expanding blue eyes. So bright, but at the same time dark, because they were wide blown. It was so beautiful and he couldn't take it anymore. 

 

Rolling around, he pushes Charles onto his back. Holding his hips a little higher, he draws back out, only to thrust deep back into him. 

 

“ _Nein_ … _sieh …_ hold your eyes open, Charles.”

 

Every new thrust into his hole was making it so hard to concentrate. Erik could feel all metal around them. In the iron of the fence, in the lights on the way toward the mansion. He even could feel the metal in the kitchen. But it wasn't what had taken his attention. It was only Charles. His feelings of deep arousal and lust. Desire and eagerness to feel Erik deeper and harder - just like his voice whispered in his mind. 

 

His right hand glided down over Charles' thigh, holding him there a little higher, before thrusting deeper and harder. Bringing him to make a noise between despair and wanton. It drives him crazy and brings him only nearer to his climax. 

 

Then, Erik could feel it in the way Charles' moving toward his next thrust, his Telepath were bending his back - head falling back - while gripping Erik eagerly on his neck and shoulder with fluttering fingers. All in only one second before he felt the first shoot of Charles' climax hit his stomach and the contracting of his sphincter around his own hard cock. 

 

_ Erik - God! _

 

“Erik!”

 

Both in mind and underneath himself - he could hear Charles shouting his name in a arousal drenched voice. Bringing him into his own climax. Clenching his teeth, Erik thrust a last time deep into Charles' and filling him with his seed. Out of breath, he let his head sank down onto Charles' shoulder. Enjoying the moment of their afterglow and content feelings mingle in his mind. 

 

He wished this would never end. Like he always do when they are together. Just … enjoying the moments, because he fears, it would be the last … 

 

~*~ to be continued ~*~ 

 

 


	3. There is something coming ...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time comes that Charles will understand what it takes to save someone he loved. To save the once he named his family.

As Erik walked through the door, he felt finally free again. It's hours after his mission and his mind was reeling. He hadn't said anyone where he was going, neither he had told about his plan. He knew Charles wouldn't force the answer out of his mind. But now …

 

Now he wished, he wouldn't have done any of this.

Now he wished, he had said something. Especially to Charles. Because the Telepath could have helped him.

 

At times like this, he just hated himself.

 

So he didn't go to their bedroom, to sleep. Erik goes straight into the kitchen, where he knew, there would be something he needed now the most. Alcohol. 

 

But as soon he steps into the big room, his heart is stopping. Rushing around the counter, he fell onto his knees. He grips Charles' shoulders, barely a moment before blue eyes fluttered open.

 

“Charles, what's happened?”

“Noth'n, why are you - oh ...”

 

At first he had only seen his legs behind the counter - laying on the ground of the kitchen. But now, Erik spot a pillow underneath Charles' head and a small blanket. He couldn't hide his confusion.

 

“Their voices were too loud, so I … eh … I thought to search a place where I could sleep. I didn't want to scare you.”

 

Soft fingers gripped his own, but Erik backed away from the soft touch. He didn't deserve … It was all his fault.

 

“What's your fault? Sorry, Erik, but … what's wrong with you?”

 

The light above the oven was enough for Erik, to let him see how worried Charles was. But he could feel it too, if he would just look behind all his self-hate.

 

_Erik?_

 

Slowly Charles were sitting up. Leaning against the counter, he looked up into Eriks eyes and he couldn't take it anymore. Couldn't hold the memory away from Charles.

 

He let it run free.

 

His information about John F. Kennedy as someone like them. A mutant. But not out in the open. In the open, he was just human. But a human who's fighting for their rights. Fighting for more freedom. And then Erik fears the man could be in danger. Because underneath so much humans, there must be hate, fear and so much fucking shit going on, he just couldn't risk this man going hurt. Not when there is the little chance of becoming the freedom all mutants deserve. So he's there. He's there as the shot is fired. And he's so surprised of this, he isn't fast enough to react. Just acting. But it's not enough. He's dead …

 

The only hope he had in a very long time is dead. Shot and he couldn't do anything.

 

Something wet is on his cheek and before he recognize it, Charles whip it's away. But there is more, before he registered he's crying. Desperate and at the same time hating himself, for not trusting Charles' enough, to tell him … Just to pride, to ask for his help.

 

“No, it's … It's not your fault, Erik.”

“I couldn't do anything! Just like ...”

 

The picture of his shot mother flew suddenly in his mind and then there is a sudden crashing sound somewhere in the kitchen. Dread spread through his body, as he see it's something above them. But before he could hold it, it stops. Barely over their heads it's just … like frozen. He didn't thought Charles could something like this.

 

“I can't … but you. Erik … Erik, please, look at me.”

 

There is something very warm - very lovely - in his mind. And he know, Charles' controls his power. But it's okay. For now, he's not in his mind, to mind it. So he's looking down into wet, blue eyes.

 

“None of this, was your fault. Please believe me. There are some things … not … not intended to be prevented. I wish so much we could, but … sometimes, we just aren't intended to do something. You're not a monster, Erik. Don't think like this, okay. Alone for trying, you're … so much better than … all of them. So please … just let go, okay. Please.”

 

Erik was so captured from Charles' words, he didn't even registered the others coming into the kitchen. He could only look into Charles' eyes. And as soft fingertips glided over his temple, they were one. He could feel so much trust and love and warmth, it was hard not to believe Charles. Because suddenly he could really  _ see _ what Charles were seeing in him. What he felt, when he was in Eriks mind. What he felt, when they were together. 

 

_Please let us alone …_

 

He heard it like a whisper, not directed at him, but at the others, as his forehead sank onto Charles shoulder. Seconds later they were alone again and he felt Charles manipulating his power on to direct the metal away from them. Then he felt the younger shoving him onto his back. There he wrapped his arms around Charles. Holding onto him like the other holds onto him.

 

Erik was so wrapped up into him, that he nether felt himself gliding into a deep sleep. Just feeling Charles, holding him away from the hate he was feeling deep down.

 

~*~

 

There was something in his mind, he couldn't shake away. So Charles followed this. Now leaning against the door frame, he's looking into the room, where Raven is packing her things.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

Charles saw her freeze. Only a second, before she closed the lid of her case.

 

“Away.”

“And were you going to say goodbye?”

“Charles …”

 

It shouldn't hurt himself so much, that she didn't even wanted to say goodbye. But it did. Just like at the beach in Cuba. He had always known, that she would leave him. But now … after she had came back, he had hoped, she would stay. With him - with them … After all this months …

 

“It's not that I wanted to leave. It's just … I cannot do here anything. It's like we're standing on the side, while there is so much going on in the world.”

“We're not standing on the side, Raven. Erik is still doing what he must do and so I am.”

 

Charles knows that there are more things they could do. But … while Erik's a little distant after the death of Kennedy, he don't know what he should do. What the chance of their rights were. Are they good or bad? Because now they standing alone there. Alone between the good and bad side of the humans. With nobody on their side. Nobody who would have enough power to stand in for them.

 

He knows this.

And it's making him fear for their kind.

 

“No, Charles. Or were you doing something, as Alex or Sean were going to Vietnam?”

“I … Raven, I cannot hold any of you against your will. You're free to go, wherever you will go.”

 

Charles wished, back then, he would have told them. Would have said - no! But … he couldn't. The two wanted to go. They wanted to fight and he had seen it in their minds. The hope to do more than … be here.

 

“Sometimes you should, Charles. You should, because you're … you know what's the best for us all. You knows what's to do to save us. But you're rather doing nothing, because you fear to be hated.”

“I doesn't fear hate, Raven.”

“Oh yes … you do.”

 

Taking her case, she's stepping right in front of him. Blue and very strong. Very sure in what she's believing. She's looking deep into his eyes and Charles know it - right at this time - he will never see her again. Not as his sister.

 

“You fear them so much, since Cuba, Charles, you hide in here. Hoping and believing in the goodness of humans, while they killing themselves, because of difference. Skin color, race, political views, gender … What would you think, they would do, with someone like Erik? A Jewish, homosexual, mutant, who doesn't fear them, who fights against them? He's all what they loath, in one person. They would burn him - us all - if they would know what we are. And you know this. It's the reason you fear them. The reason for you to hide in here, for you're entire live, Charles. And it's enough for me to bear this.”

 

Her fingertip graces for a second against his forehead, before she's backing away and stepping aside from him. Her steps are not loud enough to hear, but he know she's going away. Forever.

 

And deep down …

He knows she's right.

 

~*~

 

It's three weeks after the Kennedy assassination and there is a man, in a black suit, at Charles' doorstep.

 

He's from the FBI and in his mind he's thinking about the information he would tell Charles. But they aren't all true. There wasn't any sign for someone who had seen Erik do something against the president. Nobody had seen anything. They just taking a hope to came after them. They wanted Erik as example and Charles doesn't even let him say anything.

 

It's not intentional. In a fact, he just wants the man to forget about this place, the information about Erik and Charles himself. But he's so deep into this mind, he sees more. He sees information about a place where there are people like them - mutants - and they do something with them. He hears a name - William Stryker - and he knows this name. And there is more, but he's just overburden with all the hate, the loath, the fear and disdain, that all he wants is to want him to forget.

 

And it's the last Charles is thinking …

 

~*~

 

Erik is underneath the mansion with Hank. Together, they are looking for a ideal place for Cerebro. Erik isn't a big fan of this thing. He had seen Charles after his sessions with Cerebro and it had made him uneasy. The way, Charles' pale skin become more paler and his eyes getting distant … it didn't felt right for him. It's was the reason he was there. Every time. And the one time, Charles had done it secretly, without telling him, Erik was furious.

 

But now it's the only way to find their kind and to save them. And he would make sure that it's would be saver for Charles. It's the reason why he's doing it together with Hank. While he knows, Beast wouldn't do anything to let something or someone hurt Charles, he isn't the only one with a brain. And together, Erik must say, they awesome.

 

“If we take the wires and place them in a bigger place, like the last, we could make sure it wouldn't affect his - ...”

 

Erik holds his hand up for Hank to stop. There is something going on.

 

It's there since a few months now. A warmth, very deep, very low in his mind. It's Charles present, but not really. He had ask the Telepath if he's reading his mind, but he isn't he's just … there. In Erik and it's nice to know, they're always together.

 

But suddenly it's gone. From one second to the next. He's so used to feel it, that the sudden absence is … near to pain. And he's running, before he knows it. Hank is right behind him, but not faster. It's his power, making instantly a check of the area. There is nothing new, only two things. He can make it out and it's making him feel dread. It's a gun. Loaded, but it's not in use. Then there is a pen in the breast pocket of someone. He could feel the heartbeat of this person drum through the metal. And he's only a second away from stab the person with the pen, as the person comes into his view.

 

It's a black haired man, middle aged and he's standing still. Very still. Eyes wide and … totally hollow. Before him stands Charles. Just as still, as the man in the suit. But his hands are shaking and Erik catches him just as suddenly, as his legs gave out under him.

 

Behind him the stranger falls, too. But it's not Eriks priority.

 

“Charles? Charles? _Verdammt_!”

 

Charles cheeks are pale, but his forehead is a little redden and as he lay his hand above it, he feel it's very hot.

 

“Fuck!”

“What's with him?”

“I doesn't know, but I know … _Ich, Scheiße_!”

 

Erik couldn't think straight. He's just taking Charles up, into his arms. Directly running to the next bathroom, he finds and stepping with his friend under the shower. He lowers Charles' body softly against the wall and himself, so he's standing. Holding him on his hips with his hands, he turns the water on with his power. Behind him the voices of Hank and Azazel are frantic, but he's just concentrating on Charles.

 

The first hit of ice cold water is like a strike against his skin, but he ignores it.

 

Erik knows the moment he had taken all out of his power. It was in the bay of Miami and if there wasn't the water - ice cold around him - he knows he would have been burned from inside. He had felt so hot. Burned out.

 

He's counting the seconds. And there are 81 seconds till Charles eyes flew open and he's taking gasping breaths. Erik takes the back of his head into his hand, preventing Charles from hitting his head on the wall behind him. Long, tremulous fingers gripping his wet shirt, holding onto Erik. His eyes, unbelievable blue, were wet and fearful.

 

“What … have I … I have … I have …”

“Shh, Charles, try to breath, okay. Please, calm down.”

 

He wants to know what's happened. But the way Charles is looking at him. Full of panic and fear …

His hand glide from the back of his head, over his forehead. Feeling finally the burning going down. Softly he stroke the wet hair from Charles skin, running with his fingers over his cheeks, his neck and doing it all over again. Bearing the coldness was nothing, if he knows that Charles were save.

 

“It's so … god … it's so hot, Erik. Please … make it go away ...”

“Shh, I make it better, okay. Just … just breath for me, okay.”

 

He hears him whimper and it let his heart clenching. The voices behind him - in the corridor where the stranger laid - were now lower, but Erik couldn't ignore them. He hear something, like the man were breathing, but not reacting. And he had a sudden thought … but not believing that Charles would do something like this …

 

“Yes.”

“Hm?”

 

Still stroking Charles' body - trying to get him relaxed and calm - Erik presses his nose against his neck. Charles felt still too warm, he thinks, while he opens the dark blue, now sodden cardigan and letting it falling careless onto the floor of the shower.

 

“I … I have … he was here … because of you and … he hated … he had so much … and I couldn't … I just wanted …”

 

Suddenly Charles' head rose from Eriks shoulder. And the wetness on his lashes, just like on his cheeks - Erik could say they didn't were from the cold water from above them. Charles was crying. And he did understand what has happened.

 

“I just wanted him to forget, Erik. And I … I couldn't stop it. It was … it was too much.”

 

Erik's shocked. He know Charles' were powerful. Mostly the powerful Telepath on the earth, but he also knows he wouldn't do anything that would hurt someone. Even if it would be someone bad. But at the same time he's thinking at Schmidt. Charles had held him frozen for Erik. Although he had known, that Erik would kill him.

 

He had done it for Erik then. And today he had done something again for him.

Something, Erik was very sure about, he wouldn't forgive himself for it.

 

~*~

 

“How's he doing?”

“He's hiding away from me. Saying, he don't want any of us near him, till he have back his full control.”

 

Hank nods. Azazel just look onto the man, still on the floor.

 

“He lives. But he's not reacting. It's like … I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's like the professor has taken his mind.”

“What do you mean, he's not reacting?”

 

Erik feel goosebumps over his neck, as he's looking to the man to their feet. The stranger is lying on his back, looking with hollow eyes at the ceiling and never blinking. The only visible reaction, was the raise and fall of his chest, as he was breathing. But it was so constantly, it was just … it was fucking creepy.

 

“I mean, that … he's not answering, not reacting toward any influence. Not even pain. I don't know what's happened.”

“But I do.”

 

All of them, but the stranger on the floor, were looking to the stairs. On the highest step sat Charles. He had his legs pressed onto his chest, like a scared, little boy and Erik wanted nothing more than to go to him and holding him.

 

_Please don't …_

 

And he didn't.

 

“What's happened? Had he threatened you?”

 

Jonas, who's on the windowsill, was the first taking a question. And while Erik hates the fact, that the black haired man, every damn time, made a move toward his Charles - he was glad for Riptide to ask this. Because if Erik would have done it, he wasn't sure if he could have hold the control over his power. He was on the edge of falling.

 

So he was just looking at Charles. Who was slowly shaking his head once.

 

“No.”

 

There was a softly voice in his head and the way the others react - going a little stiff - they could hear it too.

 

“I'm … I'm so sorry.”

 

Erik could see his eyes going wet - even in the distance. And it's made it so damn hard not to go to him. But he would respect Charles' wish to keep the distance.

 

“He … is from the FBI. Thomas Johnson. He's 47 years old and he's … he's here because of Erik. They have … the government had shoot Kennedy. They hadn't known of his mutation, but they had seen him as a threat. They had shoot him and someone has taken a bent bullet, as a prove of Erik as the assassin. I don't know how they had the information about this place, I hadn't … but … they know … he know … and I … have seen a place where they were holding more from our kind. They … do something there and - you know Stryker? There is his son, somewhere all in this. And I just … I just wanted him to forget about this, you and … I couldn't control it.”

 

Just like Erik himself, now.

 

So it doesn't take a second, as he was right before Charles, taking him into his arms, into a crushing hug.

 

“I'm so sorry.”

“Shh.”

 

The softly cry against his shoulder was heartbreaking, letting him hold Charles only tighter. And behind him he was letting his power out. It wasn't a big move, nor more than a little push, but it were all his emotion in one little pen, as he pushed it with his power into the agent.

 

The fact, that not even Hank was saying something, confirmed Eriks view. That this was not even a kill. It was a coup of grace.

 

~*~

 

“You're crazy to think this would be a good idea.”

“Erik, my dear, please … please sit back down and let me explain.”

 

It was in the middle of the night, as Charles had an idea. The whole day he was thinking about what had happened. And what they should do about Johnson. Someone could track him down and then? Then there would be coming more and they would coming soon …

 

Slowly Erik came back to the bed. Sitting on the edge, across from Charles. And while Erik only wore a T-Shirt and Shorts, Charles wore a pajama with blue and black squares across each other. Erik had said - right before going into the bed - he looked entirely cute, with the too long sleeves and trouser. Now he hoped this cuteness would help to persuade Erik about his plan.

 

“I think it's all we can do. And you know I could do this.”

“It's not about you being not in the power of doing this. It's about you getting hurt. And it's a risk I will not take!”

 

Charles bite his lip. He still feels unsure and the effects of the amount of power he had used. And it felt new, but also … good to know how powerful he was. It was also creeping him out.

 

Yet …

 

“Erik … please.”

 

He takes Eriks left Hand into his. His head tilt a little to the side, so he could see Erik deep into his gray-green eyes. And he felt long, strong fingers slip between his.

 

“I know you don't approve, but … I cannot hide in here anymore and letting you do all the work.”

“What's with Mystique? She should be able to do this ...”

“Yes … But she's … not here.”

 

Fact was … he hasn't told Erik that Raven had leaved them. At least not forever. But it was a matter of time, that Erik will knew about it and then, he would know that Charles had lied to him …

 

“ _Liebling,_ it would be saver if Azazel would just teleport in there and take what we need.”

“Maybe … but Erik, would you let him do, what you needed to do? He don't know what I know. He don't know, what we search for. And what if he gets caught? No … I … must do this my way.”

 

Charles must stay strong. Even when Erik used this one word for him, he loved so much hearing it out of his mouth. Especially when they have sex - but now wasn't the time to think about this. So he just leaned closer, laying a hand onto Eriks cheek. Looking deep into his eyes.

 

They both know he could make Erik say yes. Whatever he wanted … but he wouldn't.

 

“Please.”

 

Breathing deeply Erik close his eyes.

 

“You don't know what you're asking.”

 

He know very well. It's the same, every time when Erik goes on one of his missions. Only with the difference, that he's talking with Erik about it. He tell him, what he's about to do, while Erik isn't saying something about it, because he know, Charles would help him. Would go with him and be in great danger.

 

“I love you.”

 

Charles whispers and Erik lifts their hands up, kissing the back of Charles hand.

 

“ _Ich liebe dich mehr.”_

 

~*~ to be continued ~*~

 

 


	4. When there is something missing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope isn't enough to get through this.   
> Action speakes louder ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for kudos. Hope you like this chapter. Let me know what you're thinking.

Charles took a deep breath. One time. Two times …

A last time. He had done something like this before. But not in this extend. He could understand Eriks concern. But this was something he must do. It was something that must happen.

 

Checking a last time the thoughts of 58 people behind the door, he pushes open, going into the large area. Everywhere were long tables. Some were filled with papers, but clean, while there were a few more, looking like a hurricane had stormed through the building.

 

He know, that his office, was the last one. Behind all those people. So he didn't let them see, Charles Xavier. But Thomas Johnson. Whatever he had done to this man, a lot of his memories were now in Charles. So he knows, that this man came in, every morning, with a cup of coffee from the Starbucks around the corner of the street, only one minute before eight o'clock. Johnson never greets someone in this department. Even if he was the director of it.

 

So Charles goes straight to the office he knows he needs to get inside, to become the information he needs.

 

“Hey, Johnson. You're late.”

“I'm not.”

 

His answer was cold, just like the man would have said it. Turning, Charles looked up, at someone he hadn't thought of meeting here. Now. Brown eyes looked cold back. Like he knew Charles was Charles and not Thomas. But that wasn't possible. So he turns again, going into the office with enough  self confident, he could bring up in this moment. Stryker followed and Charles felt a chill rolling over his back. This wasn't like he had planned this.

 

~*~

 

“I don't have a good feeling.”

“When do you have something like a good feeling?”

 

Erik casts Hank a cold glance, before he looked back toward the building across the street. They had made the promise not to interferer, but Charles hadn't said that they should stay away. So Hank and Erik had followed him. It was the best for Charles, because Erik had a really bad feeling. And his feeling was always right.

 

“What the …?”

 

Before Hank was reacting, Erik crosses the street. With his power he could feel the moment, when he could walk through the driving cars. Five steps further, he took the woman hard on her arm and shoving her against a metal post.

 

“What are you doing here?”

“I don't know who you are revere-...”

“Raven, don't fuck with me. What are you doing here, like this?”

 

Raven was an excellent shapeshifter, but he would always recognize her. Especially now, when she wore a face from a man, he had only hours earlier killed.

 

“I'm doing my own thing now! Had Charles told you to keep an eye on me, or what are you doing here?”

“You … you have left us?”

“Yes. Fuck, Erik, I need to go in there. Stryker is there and he had - ...”

 

The mention of Stryker was, what set Erik free. Letting go of Raven in her form of Johnson, he turns toward Hank, who was running at them. He tries to concentrate into Charles' direction, thinking about the information he had became. But the side behind the warmth, was totally motionless. He knew that Charles would block him out, so he could get a better hold onto his mind control. But … it didn't felt right. So he turned once again, as he saw, that Raven made a step toward the building.

 

“No! Charles didn't told me anything about your leave. We're here because of him. Because he's in there, as Johnson.”

 

In the middle of the street - and for their fucking luck nobody payed attention on them - Raven shifts into her human form. She shoves Erik to the side, walking straight to the building. He followed, just like Hank.

 

“Not you're fucking - the last time Charles had done something like this, his nose had bleed and he had lost his control. How long is he in there?”

“Ten Minutes, approximately.”

“Fuck! Why the fuck are you even let him doing something like this?”

 

Erik wanted to ask her, why she had left them, without any word, without any … But Hank told them to shut their mouths and he must say, Beast was right. Now wasn't the time for this. They must go in there and help Charles before Stryker could do something …

 

~*~

 

“And?”

“And what?”

 

Charles left eyebrow raised, while he sat back into the dark leather. He slowly slips out of the minds behind the walls, so he could concentrate on Stryker. He felt the hurt behind his forehead, but he must stay strong. The last time he had done something like that … it's a long time ago, but now he was older, stronger. This shouldn't be so hard. Charles also knew he could made the guy go away. Letting him think, that they had talked together and he had became what he wanted, but … Charles wanted to know what Stryker and Johnson had done. He wanted to know about those other mutants …

 

“Lehnsherr. You had said you had an information, where he would be. Had you found him? And what's with this house, you were checking out? You had said there were freaks.”

 

Charles could feel his blood rush. It would be so easy to kill the man before him. Just like Johnson, he could just think about taking every memory. Letting him forget everything. Even himself - what he was. Human or man. But he got a grip on himself.

 

“My informant was wrong. This or Lehnsherr was faster. He's not dumb, Stryker. Or did you think, he would present himself on a silver tablet? Just like the rest of them? They're mutants … they're a little cleverer than this.”

 

There was an amused expression on Strykers face, he didn't liked.

 

“What? Mutants? Not freaks? And cleverer? Thomas, yesterday morning you have spoken about them being not better than rats in the canalization and now you speak of them as intelligent?”

“Rat's are intelligent, Stryker. They're survivalists.”

 

He grips the armrest hard, while he lays so much arrogance into his expression and voice, it was making him sick. But it seems enough, to let the man opposite of him laugh.

 

“Yeah … But back to track. Here are the information you have wanted. Project Three isn't anymore … she's dead. But I have something you'll like. Do you know Trask?”

 

Dead …

Someone of them was named as a project - as a number - and she was dead.

 

_Concentrate!_

 

“Concentrate?”

“Yes, I … want to know about Trask. So concentrate on him.”

 

Stryker looked at him with an odd expression, but Charles couldn't … All he could think about was, that they made experiments with their kind. Erik was right. From the first second …

 

“If you'd like. Trask, you should believe he would be nothing more than a midget because of his size. But he's a little genius. He had a laboratory, working on a machine, that would help us against the mutant plague.”

 

It was enough …

Charles couldn't …

 

His concentration was slipping between all his anger and upcoming hate.

 

“What the …? We have a - ...”

 

Charles closed his eyes. His fingers pressed against his temple and he just  _ pushed _ . With every sense he could feel every one in this building freezing. But in between the humans, he felt … 

 

“Erik?”

 

He let go of the people he knew as friends and family. Than he rushed through the office, ripping every cabinet open. Searching for the information, they need. He know, he was so near. Behind him the door burst open, but it was Erik, Hank and … Charles looked for a second at Raven, before he opens the next cabinet.

 

“Charles, what the fuck, let's go!”

“No!”

 

The grip on his wrist was eager and hard, but Charles ripped himself free, looking Erik desperate in the eyes.

 

“I cannot … I …”

 

He felt his concentration slip, so he holds stronger. He just needs more time …

 

“You were right. The whole time. So … please help me.”

 

Charles felt the tears on his cheeks. Part desperate. Part about all those … people he had let down, because he had hold so much trust in the humans, he just hadn't …

Soft, long fingers lay on his cheek, before Erik shoved him soft to the side.

 

“Okay. But I have another idea and you'll hold on your control. Can you do that?”

“Yes.”

 

Charles pressed his fingers again against his temple. Pressing and closing his eyes. Concentrating on all people in the building. There was a loud sound and something bursting, but he could do this. He must …

He didn't know if it was just a second or hours. It felt for him like hours of hurt behind his eyelids, but he holds onto the freezing. Until soft fingers wrapped around his wrists and he opened his eyes.

 

“Let's go.”

 

“... breach in the building.”

 

Strykers words follow Charles back to the mansion, as Azazel teleports them from the building, right on his grounds. His friend looked between Erik and Charles. Like he would expect something. But he just … It was too much for Charles, so he lets his face fall into his palms. He couldn't believe he was so wrong …

 

“Charles, I - ...”

“No. Just ...”

 

He avoids the touch of Eriks left hand, with a step back. Looking to the side, Charles shakes slowly his head. Now, that he didn't need to concentrate on Strykers mind, being Thomas, freezing a whole building - he sees all those mutants … in cages, with tubes in their bodies and he couldn't …

 

“Just … let me …”

 

Charles steps further away, until he suddenly turns around, practical running across the ground. It was too much. He hated himself for his own naivety. And he hated himself for making Erik and all the others believe in him. Because he had done nothing, while there were so many of their kind dying.

 

And it was all his fault because he had believed in the wrong kind of people.

 

~*~

 

Two hours and not a second longer.   
He gives Charles the time he needs. But … nothing more, because he couldn't let him feel the guilt for this. Nobody else, than the humans they do that, are guilty. Not Charles, for having hope in them …

 

“You should go. You all should, because she's right. I haven't done anything.”

 

Erik steps on the stone. He wants to get him far away from the edge, instead he sits beside him. Looking down to the ground and assess that - if they slip - they would fall 21 meters into death.

 

“Nobody wants to go, Charles. Especially not I.”

“Why? After all you have said. Then … and in Cuba. Why do you want to stay?”

 

He could see fresh tears on Charles' cheeks, as the younger turns his face, looking at him. After all this time they were together, Erik had always felt like he must keep Charles save. But …

 

“Because of you.”

 

_Not for you, Charles …_

 

“It's something, Emma had once said, about being a Telepath. That, you ever will see the worst in everyone. Even if you'll not searching for it. You'll see it just like the rest. Because it's there.”

 

Erik looks up into the sky. It was so clear, he could see every star. It was so beautiful, but never it will be, like the man next to him. Never will shine so bright, like Charles for him …

 

“I don't know what you see, Charles, but whatever it is, hold onto it. Because … your hope, it's enough to hold us all strong. You hold me strong enough to fight for us all. It's you, Charles. You always will be.”

“And if I cannot hope anymore, Erik? You don't know what I have seen in his mind.”

 

He would take him the memory, if he could. Erik would hold it in his own memory, next to his own past. But he knows, that Charles wouldn't let him see it - ever. So he did the only thing he could do. He took hold of Charles' hand. Looking deep into his eyes and letting him feel, what he felt, when he looked into his blue eyes for the very first time they had met.

 

_Hope_

 

Hope, that Charles was right.

Hope, that the humans will let them live a free life.

Hope, that they will live in a better world.

 

And it seems enough, for Charles, because he finally let Erik in.

 

~*~

 

_They just have gotten the information about Darwin's dead. And Charles feels … He doesn't know what he feels. All he knows it, that they wouldn't be back at the CIA-Central before the day after tomorrow - so they have this night of sleep and then a flight of 14 hours._

 

_Moira and the other agent are sleeping at the room opposite of his, while Eriks is next to him. Charles was never happier to be alone, because … he couldn't get a grip about himself._

 

_The shower hadn't helped. The tears were still running over his cheeks because of thoughts about Darwin. He didn't even knew this boy really good, but he did knew, that he was a very good person. And he was dead, because he had helped Alex and the others. Because of Darvin, Raven was still alive. Still save and …_

 

_But at the same time, they weren't save. And who's fault was it? His. He was - he should have - he could have …_

 

_His thoughts were stilling, at the knock on his door. Hectic, he whips the tears from his face. Straighten his shirt, he takes a deep breath._

 

“ _It's open.”_

 

_Fuck - he didn't sound all right. Charles hoped, who ever -_ oh it was Erik _\- would be there, wouldn't see, what he had done. But it was Erik, so he did know. He always knows._

 

“ _Have you already eat something?”_

 

_And he always looked out for him, too. What makes it so fucking hard, not to cry again. Instead, Charles moved his head slowly in a shake._

 

“ _No. I'm not really hungry.”_

 

_Charles couldn't hold his stare anymore, so he looked down at his hands. Erik suddenly crosses the room in not more than a few steps - sitting down right next to him._

 

“ _Charles … you hadn't eat something since we're here. And that's now 19 hours.”_

“ _So?”_

 

_After his little question, Erik was quiet. But then - because Charles had closed himself off from all people around him - Erik surprises him with laying his hand over Charles' own. For one second it laid there very still, before long fingers glided through his own - squeezing his hand softly._

 

“ _This wasn't something we could prevent.”_

 

_Charles hold his breath, at the same time as he pressed his teeth together. But it wasn't enough to hold the tears back. A sob escaped him, before he looked up at Erik. Hoping to see there something that would make this all better. Would make him maybe forget all his fears. Not for himself, but for all the other kids and Erik …_

 

“ _Why? Why couldn't I have known this?”_

 

_For one moment, Erik opened his mouth. Than he closed it again, while his eyebrows glided together. He looked so … helpless, like Charles felt. But then he shook his head and his other hand laid on Charles cheek. Looking at him so soft, that it broke his heart._

 

“ _Because nobody of us could look into the future, Charles.”_

 

_Closing his eyes, he let Erik wrap his arms around him, while he crashes himself against Eriks hard, strong and so save feeling, warm body. There he shoved his face into a gray T-shirt, crying and hoping, that nobody would be hurt again. He couldn't bear this. He wasn't strong enough. Not like Erik …_

 

_~*~ Back in reality … ~*~_

 

Frustrated, Charles closed the file, before running with his hands over his face. Thomas didn't know enough. Not more than he had already seen in his mind. Maybe he should have more concentrated on Strykers mind. But … the things he had seen there … the brutality. The murder, his thoughts about Charles' kind …

 

Breathing deep and slowly unwrapping his mind, Charles leaned back into the chair he was sitting in. He knew he should get himself a little sleep - go back into his bed where Erik is resting - but he can't. Instead he let himself feel Eriks soft mind. At the time, Erik was only his friend, Charles had backed away from such actions. But know Erik wanted him in his mind. So sometimes he invited himself in. Even in his sleeping state, Charles' power found comfort in Eriks mind. So, when he's waking up, he is already there and so deep, it feels like this is their natural state. Together, even when they weren't.

 

Slowly retracting from Eriks mind, he pushes his telepathy over the other sleeping minds. Azazels mind was full of crazy haziness and it made him a little dizzy. So he retracted again, only to feel something other. Something familiar but at the same time strange. Maybe it's the fact he is still near Azazels mind, but suddenly his friend is next to him. Not in a suit, but a T-Shirt and long pants. Looking at him with worry.

 

“What's wrong?”

“There … there is something.”

 

Charles stands up, only to feel the Teleporter takes hold on his wrist.

 

“Maybe you should stay here. I'm looking what's wrong.”

 

He didn't even get something to say about this, Azazel's already vanished and Charles sends him thoughts about not killing somebody. Not because he's not thinking about killing people who would do harm against his friends he love. But because he cannot bear more blood on his grounds.

 

Maybe it's the uneasiness in his mind, but the door of his office is opening and Erik goes straight to him. Looking at him with concern and love, beginning to say something, Erik is interrupted by Azazel coming back. Red smoke makes it for a second impossible to see him, but when it's slowly disappearing, Charles is falling back onto his chair. Not believing what he's seeing. Not believing what his Telepathy is hearing. Because this shouldn't be …

 

“Here there. Long time not seen.”

 

Looking slowly to Erik, whose mouth is open and blinking, Charles know he's not the only one who's shocked.

 

~*~ to be continued ~*~


	5. New beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somebody everybody thought of being dead isn't and Charles makes a very important discovery.

After the shock, Charles' first thought was they needed supplies for their friend. So he looked at Azazel, slowly standing up again.

 

“Can you bring our friend into a room, please. And maybe give him some clothes? We meet after he's dressed, in the kitchen.”

 

Right as they are alone again, Erik looked at Charles, blinking and gripping hard the back of a chair.

 

“That's … I have thought … _Du meine Güte_.”

“Yes. I'm, too.”

 

~*~

 

While Hank was still tired, he was more then exited to know how _this_ could have happened. Not even Darwin himself knew how. But Charles had an idea.

 

“I think about molecular dispersal.”

“Mole- what?”

 

Raven is - _No, Mystique_. Charles thinks - leaning forward onto her blue arms. He was glad she came back, but at the same time he knew it wouldn't last forever. So he just avoid her eyes, still let his own on Darwin.

 

“Molecular dispersal. To keep himself alive, his molecular structure had detached from each other. It's after all his power. I cannot believe I never had thought about it.”

 

Charles let his look sink onto his hands, feeling at the same time a soft touch on his right leg.

 

_Thank you._

 

Eriks presence was so warm in his mind, his doubting thoughts going quiet. But then another question fills his mind. Looking back onto the man, who was still eating. Who wouldn't understand after all this time, he must be very hungry and thirsty.

 

“The only thing I don't understand is, why here? I mean … How had you known …?”

 

The young man swallowed, than shrugged with his shoulders.

 

“The truth? I have no fucking clue. I just … could think again and the first thought about being safe, was you. And then … there was a sensation before standing naked in your - what's this even? A Park or … where are the others? Alex and Shawn? And … Raven, what's happened to you? And since when you two are together? Not that it's surprising, I mean the way you two have looked at each other - ...”

“That's … Maybe … I think we should talk about this another time. I mean you must be tired.”

 

Charles did hope, that the man would leave it alone. Especially the thing with Mystique. Because as Darwin named her as 'Raven', there was a sour look onto her face, Charles hated to see. Darwin seems to understands, so he nods.

 

“Yes and then I want to know why this guys are here. Because the last time I had seen them, they were killing men.”

 

The look on Azazels and Riptides faces were rueful and Charles send them warmth before looking at their newborn friend again.

 

“His name is Azazel and his is Riptide. They did back them what they had thought was the right thing to do, to keep themselves safe. But we had … Shaw's not anymore. He's dead and so they were free. And what they wanted to do was to be with us.”

 

This wasn't the whole story. And all of them knew it. But Charles didn't know how he should tell Darwin what's happened. He couldn't bring it over himself to speak about all this broken trust and hearts. Again a touch on his right leg, made it easier to breath and Charles was very glad to have Erik next to himself. Especially since Darwin's looking so skeptical.

 

“Darwin, I know what's happened. And we all were so sorry, because you were - you are - our friend. But if someone knew how _convincing_ Shaw could be … it's me. Believe me when I say, he had his way to let you do things, you wouldn't do without really wanting them to do. And the more you struggle, the more you would show your agony, the more he would go against you. I don't want you to be sorry about me or them. I just want you to understand, that some people need to do gruesome things to do, to keep themselves and the one they care about, save.”

 

After Eriks words, all others were quiet. Nobody was moving. Only Charles let his eyes wander toward his dear friend. He knew what it must be for Erik, to speak so softly about this. Without showing his hate for Shaw. Even Azazel and Riptide were looking with soft eyes at Erik. And Charles knew it then, that they knew what's happened to Erik once. He understood suddenly, why they were here with Erik and Charles …

 

And it was now him, who laid a hand onto Eriks knee. Soft stroking him there.

 

_I don't think I could have said something better to let him understand._

_It was only the truth._

_I know and it's exactly what I mean. You do sometimes so much better with such situations than me. Thank you._

 

Eriks hand suddenly covers his own. Gripping and holding soft his fingers, while sending him more warmth through their bond.

 

~*~

 

Charles cannot stop to read all files again and again. It's days since he had last slept properly. But it doesn't madder to him. Erik goes mad, but he ignores it. Because it's something he need to do. And he was thinking, that especially Erik would understand …

 

It's not until he's so tired he naps suddenly over his table, as his thoughts began to increase by itself. Suddenly there is something and Charles is wide awake. Pushing through the papers, he takes hold of one. Bringing it near his face, he reads the numbers and texts through. Over and over again, till he bold up from his chair, only to run across the wide hall, toward the stairs, climbing them and stumbling two times, before he ripped the door of his room open.

 

With his harsh entrance, Erik sits straight up, looking still tired, but at the same time his expression was sharp. But Charles was too fixate on his own thoughts. So he climb next to Erik on his bed, holding the paper out, he was gripping so hard it was crumbling.

 

“Please say I don't imagine things and you see this too.”

 

The light next to them gets on and Charles eyes instantly burned, but he ignored it, while Erik takeing the paper from his shaking fingers. He wants to get into Eriks mind, but he cannot trust himself. Because when he's restless and not sleeping right, his power is often a little out of control. So he just hold back. Watching Eriks expression shifting from concentrating to surprise.

 

“These are … coordinates.”

“Yes.”

 

Charles is so relieved he didn't imagined it, that all of his effort falls from him. And it makes him suddenly so tired, because they now know and he didn't need anymore search and it's enough to let go …

 

And if there are hands on his shoulders, to keep him from falling from the bed, he doesn't even realize them.

 

~*~

 

The next time he awakes it must be in the middle of the day, because the sun shines from west into his room. Slowly shifting in his blanket, Charles is suddenly aware of Erik. Blinking, he looks up toward gentle shining grey-green eyes.

 

“Hey, my dear. What's time is it?”

“It's 16.29 o'clock, _Liebling._ ”

“I slept 14 hours?”

 

A little shocked, Charles sat up, feeling at the same time dizzy, but Eriks hand steadies him on his waist. There was a very soft, but at the same time worried expression on his face, Charles didn't liked.

 

“No, _Schatz,_ you slept 38 hours. After all you had needed it.”

“Oh my … We - I …”

 

Suddenly his refreshed mind was reeling. Bolting up from the bed he stumbles half over Erik, but ignored it, while running in the direction of the bathroom.

 

_38 hours. I have slept - they didn't have 38 hours. What have I done, that's not - I - they should - we must instantly …_

 

His hand, holding his toothbrush, was suddenly hold and Charles looked a little sharp up to Erik.

 

“Charles, calm down and hear me out for one second, okay.”

“No, I cannot, I … how could you let me sleep this long, they didn't had all the time, we should have done something right at the moment. Not letting me sleep.”

 

He was so furious about his fail, he took something with his other hand, wanting to smear it across his brush in his hand, Erik was still holding.

 

“You don't understand, Charles. We did something. Hank was here with you, while I took the boys to the coordinates. I knew you wouldn't forgive it yourself if we would wait. And this isn't toothpaste.”

 

Blinking, Charles looked slowly toward his left hand. Blushing, he let go of the lube, only to take what he really wanted. But, as he finally he understood, he looked up shocked again.

 

“Mo-moment … you have … and … are all … is … are you all okay? Was there something - someone you could save?”

 

_Please, please, please, God, please say there was something you could do._

 

“We could. All are all right, I'm okay and there are some people I'm sure you want to get to know. I know they want to get to know you. But first we should take a shower.”

“We?”

“Hm ...”

 

_It's still 38 hours, Charles. And not forget the time you weren't asleep._

 

Charles let out a soft sound, as Erik let go of his hand, while kissing his neck. He tries to brush his teeth, what wasn't really easy with hot lips on his skin and skilled fingers under his rumpled shirt. After two minutes and the knowledge that the hadn't have sex in more than 60 hours, he spit out, letting the brush fall into the sink, before turning in Eriks arms and kissing him desperately.

 

_Hm, minty fresh …_

_Hush and take me!_

 

Erik smirked against his lips, while his hands run down his body, to his ass, where Charles felt himself being gripped. In an instant he wrapped his legs around Eriks impossibly slim waist, before the older took him into the shower.

 

“Wait, our ...”

 

A laugh escaped him, as the water already began to run over them. Erik looked at him, what made him slowly go still.

 

“What?”

“I have missed this. You laughing.”

 

Rueful, Charles lay a hand on Eriks cheek. He wanted to say he was sorry for being distant and wrapped in himself for wanting to do all research alone. But he couldn't. It was … after Raven has left again, her words who have lighten something in him. Something he was afraid of, because he know that it could do good, but at the same time it could get himself burned.

 

“You shouldn't let her get to you, Charles. She's just a frustrated child, who didn't get, what she wants.”

“But she's right, Erik. I mean what she said about Alex and Shawn … I hadn't done something to … I had let them go.”

 

_Just like I let you go, once._

 

A soft kiss against his wrist, let him look up again. Automatic he brushed Eriks wet hair from his forehead.

 

“You know you couldn’t say something back then, to convince me otherwise. And it was the same with Alex and Shawn. So don't let you think this, _Liebling_. You do so much for our kind in your way and this is okay. Because I don't want you to become like … me. I don't want to loose you again.”

 

The warmth water running over them, was nice and it was making the moment itself like something very intimate. Even with their clothes on and being sad about the upcoming memories. But Charles know it was a moment, who would bring them closer together.

 

_I don't want to loose you either, darling._

 

They kissed again and this time it wasn't alone out of lust or desire. But also deep love and something else, but very deep and until now for them foreign. The deep feelings let him shuddering. Erik, whose mind was so easy wrapped up in his own, felt it and looked him deep in the eyes. Then he felt long fingers gliding underneath his T-Shirt, stroking gentle over his skin. Higher and higher, before raising the cloth over his head and throw it out of the shower. 

 

Charles swallowed as he saw the look, Erik was giving his body. And he felt  _want, desire_ \-  _haven't done this in a long time - want him so_ verdammt  _much._ And with those thoughts, there were lustful pictures of Charles on his knees, but also with his arms braced against the wall, while Erik thrust deep inside him. 

 

“God, Erik … please make up your mind.”

 

Blinking at him, Charles had the feeling, that for one second, his friend had forgotten about his power. But as amused this was, Charles thinks that he could use this for his own fun. And between all the things they should be doing, it was just too easy to get lost into themselves. So he shoved Erik gently against the wall behind him, while kissing his neck. He was in the perfect height, without making an effort out of this. His hands were opening at the same time the burgundy Shirt, Erik was wearing, before shoving the wet fabric over his broad shoulders. 

 

He felt Eriks anticipation running through him, whenever he glided with his fingertips over a prominent vain on Eriks arms. God, who much he loved this strong arms. Feeling overly protected by them, whenever Erik hold him inside of them. In the bed or outside. His friend let out a low moan, as Charles kissed the spot right behind his left ear. 

 

“You little tease.”

“Says the one with the porn-like pictures in his mind.”

 

Charles grinned a little, as he looked up to Erik, feeling suddenly his wrists being hold, before the older man shoved him positivity against the tiles. Shivering out of the sudden lust, running through him, Charles closed his eyes. Then, his wrist being hold only by one of Eriks hands, while the other set gentle on the back of his neck. 

 

“You drive me crazy, Charles. And I know that you enjoy it. But for now I only want you to enjoy what I can do to you.”

 

_And this time you won't know what I want to do with you …_

 

It wasn't the simplest thing to keep a mind closed, when being each other so near. And it wasn't the simplest at all, when a Telepath and somebody else were emotional so near like they were. But alone the thought was so _hot_ , Charles felt his cock harden in an instant. The long fingers tightened for a second around his wrists and Charles felt Eriks sudden spiking lust in constellation with his own. Made it impossible for him to hold back his moan. Even without being touched.

 

Then, he felt the grip on his neck slowly leaving him. Only until Erik was touching him there with only one finger, before running with it slowly over his spine. It gives him goosebumps all over his body and let him shivering. Closing his eyes, he enjoyed the softness of Eriks touch, before shivering again, as he felt hot lips pressing down the same path as a fingertip was running down.

 

Biting his lip, Charles felt Eriks touch stop and he knows why and where it lay exactly. He swallowed while Erik leaned his forehead against his back, letting him feel so much regret and love, it makes his head spin a little.

 

“I love you … and I swear to you, I will - ...”

“I know. I know, my dear.”

 

Charles felt Eriks protectiveness over him so heavy, it warmth him all over again and then Erik breaths a kiss over the one place on his back, where they would never forget the moment of lost trust and hopeless love. Slowly trouser was being shoved down his legs, only to came down onto the shower basin with a wet, noisy sound. Helping Charles step out of the cloth, he felt a big hand closing around his calf. After being complete free, Erik came up again and Charles had no idea when the older man had got ridden of his own trouser. But it wasn't really important for him. Just the feeling of his hot, lean and so strong, naked body against his own, was …

 

“What do you want me to do, Charles?”

 

He bit his lip, thinking about Erik, holding him against the tiles, while fucking him hard and -

 

“No … say it.”

 

Hot breath hit against his wet skin on the back of his neck and Charles shuddered again. Hard and complete out of arousal.

 

“I … I want you to hold me hard against the tiles and fuck me.”

“ _Gott, Charles_.”

 

Erik moaned against his neck, before biting him there. Leaving a mark and licking then over his skin there. The finger still against his spine, trailed suddenly between his buttocks. Letting him moan again and writhing between Eriks body and the cold tiles. God, how much he desired him. How much he had missed his touch and teasing.

 

A clicking sound behind him, made him aware what's Erik is doing, before he felt some shower gel droplets hit his skin over his buttocks. The cold was enough to let out a sound, he should be embarrassed about, but he'd hadn't time for this, because feeling Eriks fingertips spread out the gel over his rim, slowly and teasingly was enough to made him forget everything.

 

After nearly driving him crazy, he felt Eriks finger grazing over his opening. Pressing and rubbing him there, Charles himself pressed his forehead against the cold tiles, while spreading his legs in wanting more.

 

“Please, Erik.”

“Hm?”

 

He balls his hands into fists, while Erik tightens the fingers around his bony wrists. Without hurting him.

 

“Erik, please, don't play with me, just fuck me already.”

“If you ask so nicely.”

 

Charles could hear the smirk in his voice, opening his mouth to reply something, it only came out a loud pitch moan, as Erik shoved his forefinger into his body. It didn't hurt, but it stung a little and it was enough to make his cock drip with precome, because _fuck_ , he liked it so much when Erik is like this.

 

Pressing a little down, onto Eriks hand, he hear him laughing low on his ear.

 

“You need it so bad, hm?”

“Yes … yes, please, Erik.”

 

Erik was making a sound, then moving his finger, before filling him with another and then a third. Fucking him hard with them, while Charles desperately tried to fuck himself against the motions. Wanting him so bad, so deep and hard. He desired so much the feeling of being filled by Erik, it was driving him crazy.

 

Suddenly the long fingers were being withdrawn and Charles tried to hold back a desperate sob. But then he felt a very wet and very swollen tip rub against his widen opening, before being filled by it. His body shuddered out of arousal and the feelings spread through his body. Feelings from Erik and his own. So intensive, Charles bit his lip near bloody, only to hold himself back screaming.

 

“Don't hold back … want to hear you. Come on, Charles. Let go ...”

 

Eriks thumb traced gentle over his lip and Charles let it go. Moaning loud as Erik began to thrust deep into his body. Filling him complete with his long and thick cock.

 

“Yes … god, you feel so beautiful. So hot and tight ...”

 

Now together as one, Erik couldn't block him anymore and Charles felt _everything_. Felt his own body. The hot wetness around Eriks cock, the tightness, his love for Charles. He saw his own body. Wet and very pale, but with red marks all over his back and so _beautiful._ Round buttocks being spread by Eriks cock, filling him over and over again, while thrusting harder and faster than before, because - _fuck, he's so beautiful like this, being fucked my me and taking it so good and_ Gott, ich will, dass er _\- next time he will ride me. Know he wants it so badly - alone the way he's thrusting back so desperate of my cock …_

 

It was so much, so deep and intense for Charles, he couldn't hold back anymore. Throwing his head back, he moaned Eriks name, over and over again. Breathless. Then, Erik loosed the grip on his wrist, before threading their fingers together, giving Charles more hold, than before and fucking him at the same time harder. And the sudden thrust against the only point in his body, that makes him see a white lightning, makes him coming hard and intensive, contracting around Eriks cock.

 

“ _Gott, ver … dammt, Charles.”_

 

Erik thrust a last time deep in Charles body, before holding still, shivering and filling him with his come. Whatever deep bond they have now gotten, but it's enough, that Charles blacked out from the intensity of their near simultaneous climax.

 

~*~

 

Going down the stairs - or better, trying not to limp down - Charles shoot Erik a cold look.

 

“Could you _please_ , doesn't look so smug?”

“I don't know what you mean.”

 

They have arrived at the last stair, as Charles suddenly saw more - than he could hear Eriks thoughts - of the chair, he ever wanted to do again, that he slapped Erik hard on his shoulder.

 

“Ow.”

“Serves you right for this thoughts.”

 

Erik smiled at him and laid his hand onto the small of his back.

 

“Maybe. But you wanted me to do you so hard, so … not alone my fault.”

“Then just hold your smug away from my Telepathy.”

 

Again the older man grinned. But this time Charles found it cute, before he turned around once more. This time, going straight into the room where they used to eat. Because there was a very big table. Big enough to hold more than 20 people. And Charles was very surprised that it hold nearly so much.

 

_I have said it would be a surprise for you. I think maybe you have gotten the beginning of the school you think about every time …_

 

Charles swallowed hard, than smiled at the new people. Most of them where Teenagers. Not older than 14 or 15 years. But a few were so … so young it broke his heart. He suddenly didn't know what he should say. Because … what if he wouldn't be good enough to keep them safe? What if he would disappoint their trust?

 

_Charles,_ Liebling, _your not alone with them. We're all here. Even Mystique had agreed to stay. We're doing this together._

 

Suddenly he heard them all agree in their minds. Azazel, Riptide, Hank, Darwin … they looked at him warm and trusting. And then - out of nowhere - was there Emma. He blinked at her, while she rolled with her eyes. It was enough, to make him smile again.

 

“Hello, I am … I am Charles Xavier. And I think you have all gotten some answers from my … friends, about, why you're here.”

“Be-because we're here safe?”

 

Charles looked at a little small one. Not older than 13. She had brown skin, dark brown eyes and snow white hair. She was beautiful and very afraid. Smiling softly at her, he kneed at her side - nodding.

 

“Yes, my dear. Because we're here to keep you all safe. I promise you all, that you're safe with us. If you want this, you can stay here with us. Life with us. But if you have a family, who loves you and who you want to get back to, we will be happy to do this for you.”

 

He looked at every one who was there. But all those kids were just sitting there. Until one young boy holds up his hand, before speaking. He had a bandage over his eyes and Charles felt through his minds, he could shoot red plasma out of them. Fascinating.

 

“My father had said I was a freak, just like my older brother. And that … what ever would be happened to us would be a better end, than being with normal humans.”

 

Shocked Charles, didn't know what he should say. Because it was near them, what his mother used to say to him … But it was Raven, answering. Surprising them all.

 

“Your father is a idiot. Sorry, boy, but nothing is wrong with you. Or with the rest of us. We're better than them, we're - ...”

“What Raven wants to say is, that what we are, is really fantastic. And beautiful. We're the next step in evolution. We're something new and sometimes, people fear what they don't can understand. And when people fear, they make very poor … decisions. Thinking they do the right thing, even if it wasn't. It's not an excuse for your family to do you harm. You just need to understand, that they not thinking right. But it has nothing to do with you as an other being. As something new and exceptionally.”

 

The snow white haired girl looked again at him, tipping her head a little to the side.

 

“Then we're not … monsters?”

 

Charles felt suddenly overly protective of her - and the rest of them - he couldn't withhold himself, wrapping her in his arms.

 

“No, my dear. You're not. Nobody of us is.”

 

Over her shoulder he looked at Raven, feeling her cold mind and hate against the human, it made him nearly cringe.

 

~*~

 

“If this has something to do about me staying ...”

“Yes. It's exactly about this.”

 

Charles closed the door behind him. It was now near midnight and only them - he revered them now as the adults - were awake and in his study. Only Darwin was outside, making sure that every one of the little ones was sleeping good.

Azazel leaned against the bookshelf, while Jonas sat on the windowsill. Emma filed her nails. Hank stayed near Ravens blue form, sitting on Charles chair with her legs onto the surface of the table. And Erik was right beside Charles and it made him feeling a little stronger. Steadier.

 

“What you have said - ...”

“Must being said!”

 

He bit his tongue, nearly saying something he would regret. But before he could reply anything, it was Erik who was stepping forward.

 

“I think we're all thinking about this equally. But it's not right to say these things out loud near the kids.”

 

The look Raven shot at Erik, was between anger and misunderstood.

 

“Will you - you're such a hypocrite. You made speeches about us being the superior race, making humans - ...”

“Yes, but not near kids, Mystique!”

“But they should know that they're better. Because only then, they wouldn't grow up in fear and hate.”

 

Raven shout at Erik and it was now on Charles to made a step forward.

 

“Raven, please stop making this something about you. I know this is a very heady topic, but please just … think about one moment about these kids.”

“I'm doing.”

“No, you're not. You just think about what's happened to you. But it has happened to us all. My mother used to hate me, used to ignore her own husband beat her own kid, while his son was nothing better. The broken leg, wasn't from a tree I had fallen from, it was from Cain.”

 

He looked her deep into her yellow eyes and suddenly she was very still and silent. Just being shocked he hadn't ever told her about this.

 

“But … you … I have saw you - ...”

“No.”

 

His tone turned softly again.

 

“You've had seen, what I wanted you to see. I doesn't wanted you to go. I doesn't wanted to be alone again. So I just … made you blind to them. While making their doing blind to you.”

 

Raven pressed her lips together, looking suddenly again more than the Raven he used to know.

 

“I was thinking …”

“I know. And I know, that you're now very proud of what you are. And I'm proud that you can see yourself like the way you are. But you need to understand, that this are kids. They are afraid and they are feeling alone, while at the same time suddenly learning, they are not. They need us to be like a parent. Somebody they are not used to have. Somebody who's looking out to them. And it's not helpful in insulting their parents. Even if they are awful. We're … we need to be better then them. And if you're not sure if you can do this, Raven, than …”

 

You couldn't believe he would say this. Would even think about this. But then Erik laid a hand on Charles back, holding him and he felt it in every mind of his friends. They would be right behind him in this.

 

“Than I must ask you to go. Because I want them to have a better live, than we had. Now we have the chance to make them understand, that even if the people all around us fear or hate us, we're better. But not with us being brutal or fighting them. Just being strong and making them see, that there is nothing about us, that needs to be feared of.”

 

He felt strong affection coming off of Erik and something like esteem coming from Emma. But then Raven suddenly stood. Head high, going around the table, she looked at him. Charles wasn't even near her mind, so he just had the little fear she would go. But then she stopped right before him, shaking slowly her head.

 

“You're such a fucking idiot. If I had knew, I had broken Cains neck for touching you.”

 

Then she hugged him and Charles wrapped slowly his arms around her back. He couldn't even think about the last time of them hugging. But it was nice and it felt like the old time again. Being again a family. Only that they now had seven kids and two adults more in their live. Maybe Erik was right and they would now have the chance for something better …

 

~*~

 

It's two o'clock and Charles couldn't await sleep coming over him, as he slipped under the covers. He's just about to fall asleep, as Erik comes too out of the bathroom. Charles is about to wrap himself inside his mind, as he feels something Erik is hiding but at the same time thinking hard over. Opening his eyes again, he looked at his friend.

 

“Erik … what's wrong?”

 

Erik looked at him. Stopping at the other side of the bed. Then, slipping underneath the covers, he rolled onto his side, looking serious at Charles.

 

“ _Liebling,_ there is something I need you to tell and … it's something very …”

“It's okay. Erik, my love, you know you can tell me everything.”

 

Looking deep into his green-gray eyes, Charles smiled and took hold of Eriks hand. For one moment he could feel him hesitate, before he dropped his eyes to the covers. Not being able to look him in the eyes, is it, that makes Charles aware that this must be very seriously. And the next words coming out of Eriks mouth confirm his fears.

 

“Peter and Wanda … the kids from … they … are my children.”

 

Charles let go of Eriks hand, blinking.

 

“I'm their father.”

 

~*~ to be continued ~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Darwin is back in town, Emma is back, too. But I'm not sure if she should stay or if I just make her a keep & going character.   
> And the kids they have saved are Jean, Scott, Ororo. Also Peter and Wanda. I knew at this time they should be very much younger. But they are very important for my story. So please stay tuned.   
> Hope you're enjoy it still.


	6. Everywhere is chaos ...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chaos begins and bonds get's closed. Charles will feel understanding and what it is to become a parent, while Erik needs to calm down.

 

Charles threaded his fingers through his hair. He was so frustrated, he could throw something against a wall. Behind him sat Erik on the edge of their bed, silent.

 

“So … what should we do?”

“We? Oh, no, no, Erik. You! You will lay down and get some bloody rest, will you.”

 

His friend looked at him with an irritated expression. Sighing, Charles sat down next to him, taking Eriks hand in his own.

 

“Look, whatever the Serum will do to you, may be nothing or everything at once, okay. And Hank had said all you should do is … to calm down, okay. No high blood pressure, no stress, no exiting. Until we know that your power had again set itself.”

 

Charles tried to smile encouraged, but he was sure, that it helped nothing at all.

 

~*~ Few hours earlier ~*~

 

“You … you have … They are - _you are_ …”

 

Within only a few seconds Charles was wide awake and felt like all he had known was a lie. Standing from the bed, he began to pace.

 

“You're sure?”

“Quite.”

 

Peter … was the one with the short, gray hair. The one with those big brown eyes, the dimples in his face and his cute smile. Wanda was the one with sharp, also brown eyes, long brown-black hair. Those two were so cute and Charles had loved them in an instant. Just like the rest of them. But to hear, that they were … It was … it made him aware of what Erik once had - before him. And what could make him loose Erik.

 

“Hey, _nein!_ Charles, you will not loose me.”

 

Suddenly Erik stood before him, gripping him strong, but still gentle on his shoulders. Seeing very deep and serious in Charles blue eyes.

 

“Are you sure? I mean … when? And …”

“I had thought you knew everything?”

 

Blushing, Charles looked to the side.

 

“I just had … I needed a reason, for you to stay. And I thought, the best way would be if you doesn't have to hold back. Because, even if I knew everything and still wanted you with me, you would … not leave me.”

“Charles … I would never leave you. The question is, will you leave me? Because I knew you wanted this for a very long time. But it's one thing to be something like a teacher. But a very different to be suddenly a parent. And I don't want to force you into something, you're not ready for.”

 

He had thought, the older man would get angry. But not be so gentle. Smiling, Charles shook his head. How could Erik think he would leave him? Even if he wanted, he couldn't because his love for this man was just too much.

 

“No. Never, Erik. I love you … I love you so much, I would do anything for you. But not because out of force, but because I want it. It's just … a little shock to learn you're a father of two kids.”

“It was quite a shock for me too, as Peter said his mother knew someone who could control metal too. And there was only one woman who could knew.”

 

And Charles wasn't ready to hear from her. Because alone the thought about Erik with someone else, made his insides cold. Shivering, he cuddled a little closer to Eriks warm body, who wrapped him in an instant in his long, strong arms.

 

“I'm so sorry, Charles.”

 

Head shaking, he closed his eyes. And even if he was a little sad inside …

 

“Don't be sorry for loving somebody once. I don't want you to be sorry for things that had made you happy.”

 

_I have no idea how I could have deserved someone as wonderful as you._

_I have, Erik. And it's enough for us two._

 

Pressing himself only closer to Eriks body, he let his mind drift slowly deeper in Eriks. Feeling there so warm and loved, he wouldn't want to leave.

 

~*~

 

“I have no idea how Hank can concentrate in here.”

 

Charles shuffled through the papers on the big desk, while Erik sat on the office chair. He wanted those notes for his next papers for the Department he would speak in a week in Oxford. But without those …

 

“Erik, could you please don't just sit there.”

“What else should I do?”

“Help me.”

 

Behind him, he could hear the older on the chair. Rolling nearer to Charles, who was a little bend over the desk. Suddenly he felt big hands settle on his hips. Eyes rolling, Charles shook his head.

 

“Erik, please.”

“Hm, that's what I wanted to hear.”

“Erik, I need these … oh God!”

 

Even when he was sitting, Erik was still tall enough to kiss Charles neck, while letting his hands trail down his spine, over the front to his crotch, where he was touching him. Holding himself up by the surface of the table, Charles bit his lips and let his head sank back.

 

“This is … Hanks office, Erik.”

“So?”

 

With this, the man pressed up at him from behind. Leaving no space between his hot body and Charles, while he stood pressed against the table. Slowly he turned. Looking up at his friend, Charles laid his hands on Eriks chest.

 

“You're so evil.”

“And you love it.”

 

Erik grinned with a very devilish smile, what makes Charles suddenly very hot and aroused. Shoving his hands in his neck, he drag Eriks head down to his own, before kissing him deep. At the same time the taller man gripped his hips and deposed him on the table. Spreading his legs, so Erik could get between them, Charles sighed softly in the kiss. Enjoying the feeling of Eriks warm body so tight against himself.

 

He felt the papers and files underneath his ass crumble and he let out a soft noise. That wasn't what he wanted. It was so hot and fuck if he doesn't have his own fantasies about Erik and himself … but the thought of destroying Hanks work was …

 

“Fine, we'll do it like this.”

 

Blinking irritated, Charles watched as Erik suddenly moved a feet away from him. Then, he leaned over the table and shoved everything from the surface. Some things flied away, some just crushed on the floor and Charles swallowed. He loved Erik when he was so … enthusiastic.

 

“Take me!”

“You're wish ...”

 

Erik mumbled softly against his lips, before kissing him again and Charles wrapped instantly his legs around his hips. Only to shove him gently away.

 

“You - … you're bleeding.”

“What?”

 

Charles had felt the wetness on his skin, as Eriks hand pushed underneath his shirt. Now, he looked at his hand closer, taking it in his own.

 

“I haven't felt anything ...”

“But it's very heavy. I think we should go to Hank.”

“And say what to him? We wanted to have sex on your table and now I have a wound on my hand from destroying your order?”

 

Charles was very concerned but at the same time he must smirk.

 

“Why are you referring about 'we'? Sorry, honey, but this was all you. And now let's see Hank.”

 

Pulling soft on Eriks not wounded hand, Charles slipped from the table.

 

_It hadn't happened if you haven't such a sexy ass, practical begging me to fill you …_

_Thank you and he's not begging for being filled by you._

 

Charles begged, not his ass, he thinks in silent. Wondering what had happened.

 

~*~ Back to now ~*~

 

“Why the fuck lay there even injections on his table?”

“Erik, my love, I don't know, but please … calm down.”

 

The metal all around them began to shaken and Charles saw deep in Eriks eyes, while calming softly his mind.

 

“Maybe you should tune your power a little bit down?”

“A little bit, Charles?”

“Everything?”

 

Again everything began to shake and Charles took his face in his hands. He didn't had a bloody clue, how he should make Erik calm down. This was … such a impossible task. He knew it the moment Hank had said it.

 

~*~

 

Tired, Charles opened the front door, kicking it shut with his right foot. He had thought that having so many kids in his house would be not so fucking hard. That nothing could get chaotic, because the adults would be in the multiplicity and so all work wouldn't lay on him alone. How wrong he was …

 

Walking with three grocery bags into the kitchen, Erik took one off of him.

 

“Hey where were you? I wanted to make breakfast but there wasn't anybody here and the fridge is empty.”

“Good morning, Sherlock. What do you think I would have go if there isn't any food in our house?”

“Sorry, _Liebling_.”

 

Letting Erik kiss his temple, get him a little less annoyed. But Charles goes after that past him, to the aisle, where he put the two bags down. His look wandered for a moment over his kitchen. The sink was full with dirty dishes and the whole room was just … not what he used to.

 

“I just wanted to wash these ...”

“No. I'll do this and you will go into the library and read something, yes?”

“Charles, _Liebling,_ we have a full house with kids and you're not the only one who should do all the work. Where the fuck is Hank or - ...”

 

It's exactly what Charles had wanted to avoid. Erik got angry and his power made the metal in his kitchen vibrating. Touching him softly on his back, Charles lead Erik out of the kitchen.

 

“Please relax. I will locate them and then give them a little work. And I don't want to see you until lunch.”

“Charles, you're overworked.”

“I'm not! Oh fuck!”

 

At the same moment his hand made contact with his forehead, the front door goes open again and Charles looked very apologize at Peter. The young boy had a scowl on his face, but said nothing. Just going slowly toward them. Walking up at Peter, Charles felt so very bad and let the boy felt it too.

 

“Peter, I'm so sorry.”

“What's happened?”

 

Eriks question let Charles' eyes go wide. For a second he feared, that his love would hate him for forgetting Peter, but … he hadn't lied to him neither, so …

 

“I … had dropped him at the movie store and should take him back after buying groceries. And while thinking at Hanks papers and notebooks and Azazels special Russian Vodka and not to forgetting Ravens bloody razor, I had … And I'm so sorry, you want something to eat?”

 

Turning toward Peter, Charles looked at him hopeful. But the boy just shook his head.

 

“No, it's okay. I had ran and it was okay.”

“No, it's not. I make you a cake.”

“Charles.”

 

While Peter grinned a little, Erik touched Charles on the small of his back. Bringing his attention back at him. At the same time, Peter ran into the kitchen and Charles could hear his thoughts race from food, toward something in a magazine, Charles had brought for Emma.

 

“Erik, I'm so sorry, I don't know why I had done this. It's awful and you should be - ...”

“Could you for one moment just hold your mouth.”

 

It wasn't a question and Charles goes in an instant quiet.

 

“Thank you. First. I'm not angry at you, so please don't think about atonement. And second, why let you do this to you? You're not the only person who could go buying - ...”

“Erik, please! We had talked about this. Let me do this my way. It's just … all new and we all need a little routine. I had forgotten Peter and swear to you it doesn't will repeat. I had done one mistake and it was just a one time thing!”

 

There was a spark in Eriks mind. Part amused, part concerned and Charles got nervous.

 

“A one time thing, yes?”

“Yes. Really.”

“Are those two different shoes you're wearing?”

 

Charles felt his eyes widen and he looked straight at his feet where - oh fuck!

Looking back up at Erik, his cheeks got hot, but he held his head high.

 

“This is a new trend.”

 

Turning fast around, he goes back in the kitchen. Working hard on his power not to let his embarrassing flow through the whole house, because he was out with two different shoes on his feet. The left was brown, while the other were near black. But he would work through this. He could do this while Erik would cure this … thing out.

 

Charles would prove, that he could take care of them all. It was his dream and they would get surprised at how good he could do this … He just needed a little more time and a good damn more routine.

 

~*~

 

“You're blocking.”

“Hm?”

 

Looking up from the receipt, Charles saw Emma leaning on the door frame of the kitchen. She had a cold look on her face, but not like the time in Russia. Taking his form in, Emma walked into the room and Charles felt something graze against his closed mind.

 

“Your power, you block it. Why?”

“It's the kids. I don't want them to feel monitored by me.”

 

One long and very perfect eyebrow goes up, while Emma looked at the sink, before slowly taking a towel in her hand. Charles suddenly didn't know if this was real, as the blond woman began to dry the dishes, he had washed.

 

“Don't look at me like this, or you want me to stop? And they won't feel monitored if you would only skip them.”

“I know, but … Azazel is with Ororo and Jean, Hank is with Scott and Kitty, Erik talk with Peter, while Wanda is reading and Riptide - ...”

“Charles, I know. What I don't know is why you block your self out of this. Entirely.”

 

For one moment it was just quiet. Then, Charles sat down on a chair on the kitchen table and fold his hands. He had the feeling, Emma knew him better than he wanted to admit. But right now it was meaningless. Because he had thought he could do this alone. Without any help, because …

 

“Charles, either you'll open your mind for me or you speak it out loud.”

“This is what I ever wanted.”

“Chaos?”

 

Sighing, Charles shook his head.

 

“No. This. Having kids in my house. Giving them hope and the feeling that they don't need to hide in here.”

 

Emmas head tilted a little to the left, while she worked on a white plate before setting it dry on the aisle and taking the next one.

 

“You know … The last time I had lived here, I was a kid, just like them. But … my mother hated me. Hated what I was and after my father died, she used to ignore me. Then came Raven and … I had a friend. Somebody who was just like me, but I needed to hide her form from Kurt and Cain and … so they knew what I was, but … it was okay, because I was used to this form of hate. But she shouldn't feel here hated. I doesn't wanted to loose her. And then … my mother had died. I was just 15 and so … so angry at Kurt, because he hadn't done something to avoid this for her. He had driven her in dead and we had a dispute and then there was … fire and he had took us out. Kurt, I had used to hate so much, had rescued me and Raven, only to die himself. And this is why I had this wish, to make out of this something better. Someplace where our kind wouldn't feel hate or difference. I want to give them hope and a home and I just doesn't want to disappoint them like my mother used to disappoint me.”

 

Charles had looked the whole time speaking at his different looking shoes. He didn't even know why he told this Emma, not even Erik knew the whole story of his childhood. But maybe it was, because they were the same. Both Telepathic and both their whole life feeling alone in a ocean full of minds. Never intended to be heard by them.

 

But suddenly there was a soft touch on his shoulder and as he looked up, Emma stood there. Face entirely open, just like her mind and it was the first time she let him in. Unsolicited.

 

“As my parents heard what I could do, they set me out. I don't know if they wanted me to die or get kidnapped. Because they had thought about colors at this time. But I knew, that they hadn't loved me. They had feared me. Sebastian … had found and raised me. But he didn't loved me. He just … loved what I could do and in between feeling powerful, I used to enjoy being feared. He had said this was the only way we could know, that we're the 'better people'. Now … after Erik had killed him, I know, it's not. I hate what I have done to so many people, while believing it would be the right thing to do. It was not. But I want to make it better. But you need to see, that hiding yourself, isn't the better way either. You don't want them to hide, then you need to do the first step, Charles. Don't hide in here. Let them in. Don't fear what they would think about you hearing them. Because I hear them thinking about you. And it's not fear they feel, when seeing you. It's hope and believe. They believe in you.”

 

Charles was dumbstruck. He couldn't believe what Emma had said. What she had told him. It was so personal and suddenly he felt, like maybe he had found something, he had searched his entire live. And it wasn't the love he got from Erik. But comprehension. Because only a Telepath could fully understand, the way he lived his whole life.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Rolling her ice blue eyes, she got back to the sink, drying dishes.

 

“Don't get whiny, Xavier.”

 

Smiling, Charles stood up, while slowly opening his mind for the people in the house. Letting every mind soft grazing his own, he felt whole again. And it was Peters soft thought about Charles baking a cake for him, that made him smile.

 

~*~

 

After he made sure the kids were asleep, Charles got into the library, where Erik was. Still reading a book, he looked so relaxed. But hearing his thoughts … it got clear he wasn't. Because the man was reading the bloody book, Charles had brought for writing argumentative about it in his new papers.

 

Nearly ripping Erik the book out of his hands, Charles deposed himself on his lab and kissed him. Dropping the slice cake, he had taken with himself, next to them, he shoved his hands into Eriks neck.

 

_What brings you to this?_

_Nothing …_

 

Erik breaks the kiss, looking at him thoughtful.

 

“Why is this fucking thing in our house?”

“Because I write papers for the government and need to argument the opposite. But … don't let's talk about it, okay.”

 

Again he leans into Erik, who took instead the plate with the cake.

 

“I will give you a out, but after this fucking … after _this_ , we'll talk about this fu- … book. But for now I want to taste your cake.”

 

Setting himself a little back, so he was more sitting on Eriks legs, than his lap, he watched his friend taking a bite of the orange, marzipan cake. Charles had read it in Peters mind, that he loved marzipan chocolate. So he had searched after a cake with a receipt with marzipan in it.

 

“This is …”

 

Charles felt himself hope and nearly get crazy from curiosity. Not alone, because Erik hide his experiment of this from him.

 

“Not bad. It's … tasty. A little bit too sweet, but … I think with a little topping ...”

 

He slapped Eriks arm, before kissing him again. But he was sure, Erik would get his topping, if he kept touching him like _that._

 

~*~

 

While Erik took his run, Charles leaved the bathroom, only to find Peter curled on their bed. Surprised he put on some clothes, while making sure, the boy didn't get disturbed. Then he got to the bed and just as he wanted to lay the blanket over his small body, Peter opened his brown eyes.

 

“Hey … what are you doing here?”

“Are you angry?”

 

Charles blinked, then he sat down by the edge and shook his head slowly.

 

“No, why should I be?”

“Because I came in without knocking and then I slept … but … I wanted to ask you some things ...”

 

He had feared Peter would have questions. Just like Wanda. But he had hoped it wouldn't be so soon and that maybe Erik would be by his side by that. Not wanting to disappoint the young sweetheart, he nodded.

 

“It's okay. You can come to me every time, when ever you need it. Just like your sister and the others. We're all here for you.”

 

The boy nodded. And for a long moment he just looked at the sheets. It was the first time, Charles saw him so … silent and quite. Not racing or running, not even smirking and speaking impossible fast. A little hesitantly he took Peters small hand in his own, giving him a little encourage.

 

“They … they had said I'm _different_.”

“Who had said this?”

 

And why was he speaking with Charles over this, but not with Erik? Maybe he let him feel his curiosity, because Peter looked at him with those very big, beautiful eyes. Breaking his heart.

 

“The people in school. They had said this about my whole family. Is this the reason for the numbers on dad's arm?”

 

Suddenly Charles understood why Peter was speaking with him and not Erik and he felt his eyes sting a little, before he scoot the bed up, so he could sit next to Peter on the bed. Slinging an arm around his small shoulders, he held him.

 

“What do you know about … what's happened twenty years ago in history?”

 

Peter began to shake and Charles held him tighter, as he began to tell him, what they had learned in school about the second World War. And what people had done to Jews. After this, he was shocked. Part, because Peter was so young, only seven and he think, in this age, they shouldn't hear this in school. And part because so much of this was very false.

 

“Peter, my dear, it's so meaningless what religion you are. If somebody said that to you, he's … an idiot. He probably doesn't understand why there are different religions all over the world and he must go … longer … in … eh school.”

 

Charles wished he would be in these things so eloquent as Erik or maybe even as Raven. But all he could do was suppressing all dark thoughts and words over those people. Because he didn't want to be a bad model.

 

“So … nobody will hate me for being a Jew? You will not hate me?”

 

Swallowing, Charles shook his head and wrapped Peter in his arms. Hugging the hell out of him, he pressed his face in Peters gray hair and felt those tiny hands lay on his back.

 

“I will never hate you or any others of you kids. And … for you being a Jew, Peter, you must know … I love your father, very, very much and … it doesn't mean anything for me, what religion he is or not is. And so, I will love you too, just like Wanda. You're now family, Peter. And nobody harms my family.”

 

Charles heard little Peter sniff a little and he felt his face shoving hard against his shoulder, where the fabric got after a time wet. His own eyes began to get wet, as he heard his thoughts and felt his beginning affection for Charles grow.

 

“Don't leave us ever?”

 

He felt Peters hurt over the death of his mother and his lost of the people he had used as a family. And it made Charles close his eyes, while feeling tears running down his cheek.

 

“Never, Peter. I will never leave you.”

 

Charles knew it then, it was a lie, because … someday he would die, just like … the rest of people. But for now, he would give Peter all he asks for.

 

After Peter was gone, Charles sat on his bed, with his legs pressed close at his chest. He felt so warmed by Peters affection and that he had gone to him with all his fears and questions. And while he know, he wouldn't tell Erik about this - not the whole thing - he knows this is the beginning of being a real parent. It makes him shake with fear about hurting or disappointing them. But at the same time, so loved, it bring new tears.

 

He sat there, till Erik came back. Rushing into his arms, surprising him then, but never telling really what's happened. Instead …

 

“I love you, Erik. You have no idea how much you mean to me and it doesn't mean to me anything what you are, just who you are and I love you.”

 

~*~ to be continued ~*~

 

 


	7. Sometimes it all comes crashing down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things need to be said ...

 

The next days were for Erik like a blur. The kids rushed through the house, filling it with laughter and happiness, while the tension began to disappear. Erik had a feeling of being finally able to understand Charles. Because helping little ones settle their powers and taking them in like a family was nice.

 

It was more than that. Especially when he was with his own kids. Wanda was with her seven years so intelligent and sharp, he had to make sure, that the others of their friends were thoughtful with their acts or words. Because she understood more than she should in her age. But at the same time it makes him very proud.

 

In the same time there was Peter. He was fast like a hurricane and sometimes it was impossible for him to settle down. Time seems to be too slowly for Peter, that he became every now and then very impatient and ran away. The only time he seems to be in control, was, when he was with Charles. Then he was indeed fidgety, but he didn't ran away. Not until Charles let him. And it makes him aware of Peters affection for Eriks dearest love.

 

“Peter loves you very much.”

 

They sat together in bed. Charles was reading something, while Erik made a plan for the next four weeks. He wanted the kids to have a tighter training for their powers. Next to the lessons, Charles wanted to give them. Looking up from the notes, Charles looked at him.

 

“You think?”

“I know.”

 

A slow smile spread over Charles face and Erik loved it so much.

 

“You're not … angry because he like me so much?”

 

Charles projected his own insecurity toward Erik. Sighing, he laid the papers away, turning to Charles and wrapping him in his arms.

 

“No, _Liebling._ Why should I be?”

 

His love shrugged with his shoulder. Getting from radiating happiness back to insecurity. Erik didn't understood why Charles felt like this. But he wanted to and even more take it away, until Charles had a little more of his confines back. So he stroked softly over the small curve of Charles hipbone.

 

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing … really.”

 

_It's just … should he not love you more? I mean, I feel him so … intense around me and it makes me crazy with fear. I mean … He's your son and … are you not afraid of me disappointing him? It's possible to do something that will hurt him. Don't you ever think about this?_

 

With Charles' soft voice in his head, he felt also his deep fears. And it was so intense, for one moment he felt his eyes began to sting. Just like back in Cuba, where Charles laid motionless in his arms. Then he cupped Charles face softly in one hand, looking deep into his beautiful, intense blue eyes.

 

“Never.”

 

Surprise crushed toward him like a wave.

 

“The thought of you possible disappointing me or some of the others … that's impossible, Charles. Don't you even know, what you do for me? You had give me trust, for the first second we had met. And this … although I didn't give you any reason to trust me like this. Even after me, hurting you so much, you took me back. You gave me and give them a home. And a family, Charles. So … just thinking about you who would disappoint me or Peter or the others that will never happen. You're just to wonderful for this.”

 

Taking a deep breath, Charles leaned toward him and shoved his face in his neck. Feeling his warm breath there, Erik closed his eyes.

 

“Hate, that you so fucking beautiful with words.”

 

Smirking, Erik wrapped him tighter in his arms.

 

“No, you do not.”

 

_Not really … no._

 

~*~

 

It was just one week, in there Charles was back in Oxford, but Erik missed him so intense, he wanted to fly across the ocean just to be near him again. Instead he took all his new energy he had, because of missing sex, to teach the kids. The Serum, high dosed, is still in his system and it needs very much of Charles daily calls to calm him down again.

 

“You know I would come back earlier, but this is important, Erik. It could make a difference.”

“If you say so ...”

 

Erik lay back in the pillows, imagination Charles with him. Rolling the telephone cord around his finger, he looked into the dark. On the other side Charles made a sigh.

 

“My love, I mean it. I have the prove, that the X-gen is a constant in humanity genetic system. I just don't understand why and when it dominates the genetic to make a mutation which is a little bit powerful than a possible lighter brown hair color. But it's proven, Erik. That's the key, we needed. Do you understand what this may do for us? They maybe could understand, that's it's really just evolution. That we all are the same and that it's not necessary to feel feared of us.”

 

Charles sound so happy and exited it warmed Erik from his head to toe. But there was this part in him - the part that would fight as Magneto - that wanted to bust this all. Because naturally they all were the same. Just like a blond, white and blue eyed guy was the same human, as a blond, white and blue eyed guy who could be a Jew. Nevertheless one of them had caged the other one and then burned him. Because of religion. And being different.

 

And it was the same with the Americans and Indians.

Spanish, British and African.

It would be all over again, all the same. Erik knew it, Magneto deep in him know it and Charles …

 

“I know, Erik. So please don't say it.”

 

And Charles, knew it, too.

 

“I'm sorry, Charles. It's just ...”

“I know. But … I will not … let this mistake happen again. I will not let you live through this again. I promise you.”

 

Erik closed his eyes. He had never let Charles really know or see, what he had seen in the camps. Had built a wall all around these memories, high and hard enough, that Charles would never break through. Not because he was ashamed of this. It was because he wouldn't wanted the purest person on earth see something like this. Charles was indeed very strong. But … there were things, Erik wanted to keep him safe from. And this part of his experience was a very big one.

 

“I trust you will do this. If there is anyone who could do this, it's you.”

 

And he really thinks like this. He did since the day they had met. But … there is also this part of Magneto in him. And this part is sure, if Charles would accept, that, with a little more force, he would come to his aim even more faster.

 

“Thank you, Erik. You know, hearing this from you … this means everything for me.”

“Really? Even more than hearing acceptance from the humans?”

 

And there it was, the part he could bury, but not make disappear. On the other line it was for several seconds silent. Then he heard Charles breathing deep in.

 

“Yes. Even more than that, because it proves me, that there is still hope in you.”

“What you think is hope, is my trust and love for you, Charles. That's more than hope would ever give me.”

“I love you, too.”

 

The words yet sounded very sad. And Erik knew it than, he had took away Charles happiness. Which made him so angry about himself, that he crushed the lamp on the bedside table.

 

“What's happened?”

“Nothing, just came against the lamp. Everything's fine. Charles ...”

“Hm?”

 

Erik missed him very much. But not just him present. Also his … body.

 

“What are you wearing?”

“I … don't understand? Black trouser and a button up … and my glasses. Why?”

“I love you wearing glasses, Charles. Think they are very sexy on you and I imagination you laying here on bed with me in nothing more than them.”

 

He heard rustling in the background, shoving his own shorts down his legs. Already taking his soft, but slowly hardening cock in his hand, he waited of Charles voice.

 

“Erik … you probably cannot know how much I want, but … there is Steve with me.”

“Steve?! Who's Steve?”

 

Sitting in an instant up, he clenched his now free hand in the bedsheets.

 

“Steve, I had told you. He's working with me on this. And you will meet him when I come back, because he's very interested in us.”

“Us, _am Arsch_! Even more on you. And yes, I will met this Steve and then … Fuck! _Verdammte Scheiße!”_

 

The line went dead. Not because of Charles, but because of Erik had broken the phone with his power. Throwing the remains at the next wall, he stood up, put on his jogging clothes, before going for a run. It was this or wrecking something very bigger. Or flying really over the fucking ocean and making very clear that Charles was his!

 

~*~

 

“Why are you sulking?”

“I'm doing no such thing.”

 

Looking cold at Jonas, he took a sip of his coffee. It was nearly seven o'clock in the morning and he hadn't slept at all. The thought of Charles with somebody else … He trusts Charles more than any other being on the world. But not somebody who's name is Steve and being fucking Brit and intelligent.

 

“Oh you do. Has it something to do with the cracked lamps in the garden? And the broken telephone? You know you shouldn't get upset like this.”

“I know!”

 

Grinding his teeth together, he try to concentrate on his breathing. In and out - in and out - Just like Steve would move in his - No, think like this!

 

“Morning, comrades. Why are you sulking?”

 

The cupboard with the cutlery flied through the kitchen, against the wall. Azazel appeared with a red puff back, next to Erik and looking from Jonas, to him.

 

“Hey … no need to kill me there.”

“If I wanted you to die - …”

“Good morning guys. Why are you - ...”

“No! Don't ask!”

 

Erik felt his hands clenching. He could die for something very big, very heavy to destroy. But he didn't. He would, but then Charles would know and when Charles knew … no. It couldn't happen. Furthermore it would just fear the kids. And he didn't wanted them to fear him. This thought actually calmed him a little bit down, so he took it and hold it in his mind.

 

“Okay.”

 

Hank got slowly further in the kitchen, taking in the broken drawer, before helping Azazel with the scattered cutlery.

 

“Another question. Today, Charles comes back?”

“Yes.”

“When exactly, I would like to pick him up from the airport.”

 

Taking another deep breath, Erik looked at Hank.

 

“His plane lands at 23 o'clock. And he didn't wanted me to pick him up, so you didn't need to do it.”

“I know I didn't need to, but I want to … it's no big deal, really.”

 

The calm began to disappear once more, so he thought about his kids. Peter and Wanda. Then Ororo, Jean, Scott … the calm came back and Erik took another sip of his coffee. Which was in the meantime cold. Suddenly next to him, he heard laughing.

 

“Now I understand. He had said to you, he didn't want you to pick him up. But you would like to pick him up. Then do it. I mean … he's your boyfriend. Maybe he even wanted you to ignore him and do it anyway.”

“Ah, yes. I'm with Jonas. Pick him up and buy him flowers. He likes lilies.”

 

Standing up, he walked through the kitchen. Taking the last sip, Erik closed his eyes before putting the cub in the sink. Then he turned back around. Looking at Jonas.

 

“No, I can't.”

“Why not? Is it because you're shy?”

“I'm not shy!”

 

Why the fuck was he speaking with them anyway? They hadn't a relationship. They didn't knew Charles, the way he did know him. And … why the fuck did Azazel know what Charles' favorite flower was?

 

“It's just he's coming back with his colleague, Steve. And … he had said I didn't need to come. But when I come, he will maybe think I'm jealous and don't trust him.”

 

Now everyone except of Hank was grinning and it annoyed the fuck out of Erik. He wishes so much he could do something with his power …

 

“Erik, Charles is Telepath. He would even know before his plane lands, that you'll jealous. But even if not, he just knows, because maybe he's afraid, you would broke the airport, when picking him up and seeing him with Steve.”

 

Yes, that's more like Charles. He was just in concern about Erik. Nothing he should think about anymore. And as soon, as he began to thought like this, he was again more calm.

 

“Steve … but it's not the guy he was with while still studying in Oxford?”

“What?!”

 

Again there was a crushing noise, but this time nobody could seen what it was. And Erik couldn't even feel it. The lights were down and he felt once more angry and ice cold.

 

“Thank you, Hank. Thank you, very fucking much!”

 

~*~

 

Watching the cap pull over, Erik leaned against the window. One door got open, while he could see Charles paying the driver. Than somebody got out and Erik bit his teeth together. The guy - Steve - was tall, lean, brunette and it didn't do any good for his stormy mind. Watching this guy opening Charles door, like a fucking caveman, drives him crazy. But even if Charles smiled thankful at Steve, he turned his head at the side, before looking up to Erik. His whole expression was suddenly shining, like a sunrise. Beautiful. And Erik felt like a idiot, even for feeling angry or jealous. Because Charles was … he was his. And he would never hurt Erik like this.

 

_I am. And I would never do such a thing. You know this, my love._

Gott, _I have missed you so much._

 

Erik closed his eyes, while enjoying the feeling of Charles, back in his mind again. He felt so angry at himself, for wearing once the helmet to keep him out. For hurting Charles with this so much. But then, he felt something soothing against this anger. Calming it down and before he knew it, there was a soft touch on his back.

 

“Missed you, too.”

 

And Erik was sure, it may be a accident, because the sudden pictures and memories from Charles, laying night after night in bed, biting his lips, while touching himself, thinking about Erik and his fingers and his - …

 

He turned suddenly around, only to wrap his arms around Charles body. Kissing him hard and intense, he turned them this time, so Charles back crushed against the wall. Swallowing his low moan, as he licked over his red lips, Erik grind his hard cock against Charles'. His hands got down, over his small hips, to his ass, where he gripped him and pushed him up. At the same time he could feel Charles long fingers thread through his brown, short hair, scrapping over his skin. It was so sexy and hot, just like the motion of long legs, wrapping around his own hips.

 

_Want you so much, Charles. Now!_

_Oh yes, yes, please, Erik. Want to feel you. Everything …_

 

Again pictures flow through his mind. This time he could see himself over Charles, thrusting deep in his body, while kissing him breathless. And between all those pictures, memories, wishes and kisses, he didn't even know when they got naked. Or how. But he leaned Charles body over his desk, while using his fingers to spread him open. Kissing at the same time over his white neck and licking over some freckles.

 

“Please, Erik … need you ...”

“Yes.”

 

Breathless, he withdraw his fingers, before taking his leaking cock in his hand. Slowly he spread his precome over his shaft, not wanting to hurt Charles, but he know this need to suffice.

 

“Do it, Erik, please.”

 

Running with his tip over Charles rim, he felt his arousal growing. Underneath him, he watched Charles' back arch a little and he couldn't wait any longer. Pressing softly against his clenching hole, Erik hissed and pressed himself deeper. It was only one week, seven days, but it was like their first time all over again.

 

“Yes … yes, oh God, Erik!”

 

Erik bit his lips, watching his cock disappear in Charles, before leaning over his love and pressing their body’s together. Then he began to move a little. First slowly, not wanting to hurt him. But with time, he began to go deeper and faster.

 

“Please, don't … need more … need … harder, Erik.”

 

His hands ran over Charles beautiful, white back, gripping his small hips. Than he stood a little back, withdrawing until only his tip was in Charles. For a moment he could just watch in awe, how Charles whole body began to shake. How desperate he clenched his fingers around the edge of the desk. Then he thrust back in, hard and deep, just like Charles wanted it, just like he self wanted it. Over and over again he began to fuck him, holding him tight, with one hand, while the other ran over his back. Letting his fingers thread through Charles longish, brown hair and taking him there. Softly, he pulled on his hair, so he could kiss over his neck and chin, before letting their lips meet in a messy kiss.

 

_I can't … it's … oh God!_

 

Without any more warning, the muscles around his cock began to spasm and Erik bit a little harder than he wanted into Charles neck. Shooting his own load in his hot channel, while wrapping his arms around Charles shaking form. 

 

Together they sank on the mess on the desk, but not really bothered by it. Just half standing, half laying there, they enjoyed each other. And Erik felt the aftermath of their peak still in his mind. 

 

“Love you … love you so much, Erik.”

“ _Dich auch._ ”

 

He felt Charles smile against his shoulder. And it was enough to feel calm again. More than ever. 

 

~*~

 

The next morning Erik woke up without Charles by his side. He was in an instead concerned, but felt at the same time calm wash over him. Sinking back into the pillows, he heard Charles' soft voice in his head.

 

_Sorry love, we're in the kitchen. Didn't want to wake you up, you slept so deep …_

 

Something warm and lovely spread through him, what made his insides tingle. Erik knew it wasn't his, but Charles' feelings over him. And he liked every single of it. Still, he got up and put on some of his clothes. Didn't even bothering to comp his hair, he walked down in the kitchen. Just to froze. There he was …

 

Steve. Sitting on the chair, which was Eriks', because it was the one next to Charles, where they sat every damn, fucking morning.

 

“Morning, my dear.”

“Morning.”

 

He looked from Charles, who smiled happy at him, to Steve, who watched Erik like a falcon. And it was only the look into his brown eyes, in that Erik just knew, that there was something very wrong with this person.

 

“You must be Erik … Charles had told me so much about you.”

“I am. And you are Steve. Say, Steve, how long do you know my Charles?”

 

_Erik, really?_

 

The brunette guy blinked one second, before smiling softly and laying his hand on Charles forearm.

 

“How long do we know each other, Charles? Six years?”

“Eh … I think … maybe five.”

“Five years, also? Charles hadn't told me any about a Steve.”

 

_Erik, please, let it go._

Nein!

 

While Charles sat there with a pained expression, Steve stood up and took his dishes away, before turning back to Erik and smiling once again with those eyes, in which Erik could see something …

 

“Maybe he didn't want to hurt your feelings, when talking over his Ex.”

“Okay, Steve, we weren't together.”

“No, but we had a lot of - ...”

 

With a crashing sound Charles crushed his hands on the surface of the table. Then he stood up and looked from Steve, to Erik, who was just as surprised as the other guy. Because making Charles angry, was something that could take a lot of time. And Erik didn't wanted to anger him … He just was concerned and maybe angry about having a guy in his house, which once had sex with his boyfriend.

 

“Talk the fuck about, what you want to. But let me out of this. Yes, Steve, he had Sex, but I had thought, we both would be adult enough to be over it. I am. You're obvious not. And Erik, do I need you fucking permission, to bring a colleague into my own house? I don't think so and I had thought, we had talked about this, being jealous. Because it's just needless. I love you. More than everything. And you, I think you're fucking brilliant, which was the reason to take you with me. But if this is the way it should be, okay … than do your fucking … length comparison and let me the fuck alone!”

 

With this Charles stormed out of the kitchen and let them speechless back. Slowly Erik looked back at the brunette.

 

“You leave better now, before I show you a reason to run.”

“Yes … say Charles, I'm - or not. Bye.”

 

After Steve was gone, it was just Erik alone in the room. It was too early for the kids to be awake, so he did the only thing, he could do. Make a cup of coffee, than searching after Charles. Maybe he had cooled down until then.

 

~*~

 

“I wanted to tell you. Really. But I didn't wanted you to get angry.”

“I wouldn't get angry at you, Charles. Just … I just don't understand why you needed to bring this guy into our live.”

 

He sat on the edge of their bed, laying his hand on Charles back.

 

“Steve's brilliant, Erik. I mean it. He has … friends in the government. He could make it all faster, without any killing or making demands. It's just …”

 

Patient, he looked at Charles, who rolled slowly onto his back. Then making eye contact with Erik.

 

“The thing we had going on back then … it couldn't be more, because I had feared he would … fear me for what I am. He wanted to be my … but I hadn't let it be. And then … we had meet and he knew in an instant, because he had read anything I have ever written. He just knew, Erik. And he told me it was amazing and it felt … nice, to have someone who said this about my mutation. And I could feel, he really mean it.”

“Okay. Do you want to say, you … want to have him back?”

 

His heart clenched and his chest felt suddenly, like there stood somebody on. Shaking fast his head, Charles sat up and cupped Eriks face softly.

 

“No, no. Are you insane? Erik … I would never … leave you. But … I don't know why I did it. Maybe it just … felt good, not to be feared.”

“I'm not fearing what you are, Charles. Neither do the others or the kids …”

 

Now he was just confused. And looking in Charles deep blue eyes, didn't make it better.

 

“Maybe not, but … he doesn't know what I can do exactly. Shit, not even I know what I can do with my full power. But … you do. Or you think you do, Erik. And … I know you love me in your mind, but … there are times, I can feel you … fear me. And it's hurting me so much, that I … cannot breath.”

 

Suddenly he understood and it took away so much pain. While it pains him in the same time to see Charles eyes go wet.

 

“No, Charles. I'm not fearing you or your power.”

“Erik, please, I can - ...”

“No, you do not! I feel fear, yes. But not about you or your power. I fear that … you'll be at some time so powerful, that you'll be able to see my darkest side. My darkest and cruelest secrets. That you will see, what have happen to me _then_. And I don't want you to see this, because you're too good for this. Your soul, your … whole being, it's too unadulterated … too beautiful and clear, I don't want it to … taint it.”

 

Crying, Charles shook his head and pulled Erik to him, in his arms. It was then, that he felt his own eyes sting. Burring his head in Charles neck, he breathed his scent in. Letting Charles in the same time running his hands over his back and through his hair.

 

“Oh Erik. There is nothing in you dark, cruel or … tainting. I love you, with every one of your insides. I know there are things, you have done … I wouldn't be able to do. But not, because I value them, but because I wouldn't be strong enough to do this. What you have gone through is … so … I have no words for this. But it had made you to the person, you are today and I love you as this person. And I will still love you, when I see this things in you, because … there isn't any other being in the world I would love so much, as I love you. I mean it. You cannot scare me away. Or taint me, Erik.”

 

Erik clenched his fingers in the material of Charles shirt. Feeling it crumble, but it doesn't matter to him.

 

“And don't forget the good in you, Erik. You're so much more than this. There is so much more in you, than hate and anger. I have said it to you so often now, I will say it as long, as you will believe me. You're such a good person. So … intelligent, incredible. You're so wonderful with the kids. They love you, Erik. Especially Ororo, she's crazy about you. And Wanda? She adores you. You're like her … hero. And Peter looks up to you. They have so much respect and love for you, Erik. Because you're so great with them. You're not angry with them or shout at them, if they do something wrong. You … get on your knees and you're so … patient. Explaining what they did wrong and how they could do it better.”

 

He closed his eyes and felt Charles deeper in his mind. Feeling him there, where he had the memories of his mother. Where he hold them so tightly at his heart, next to Charles.

 

“And I know where this comes from, Erik. You are like her. So … nice and warm and wonderful. And if it's necessary, you can go loud. But never hurting them. You're so similar to each other it's … making me wish to know her. So please, don't think any different, my friend. You're the son, your mother wanted to have. And even better.”

 

Sometimes Charles said things, they were so … nobody could understand him, because his mind was racing light years ahead from him. So he overturned himself over and over again. But then … there were times like now. When he said just the right things, they got so damn deep in Eriks soul, he came the part in himself so near, he showed his feelings. And it was only Charles who could get him so deep under his skin.

 

And for this time, he was thankful for this. Because this may got him nearer the person, he wanted to be for Charles. More open. Even if it made him assailable.

 

~*~ to be continued ~*~

 


	8. When even hope hurts ...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charles needs to be very strong ...

Flushing the toilet, Charles leaned against the tiles next to the porcelain. His head was spinning and he felt so sick. His neck was sweaty, like his hands and he was shaking. Maybe he was ill? Or he had eaten something bad.

 

Suddenly the door got open and all Charles could do, was to kick it with his foot shut again.

 

“No, don't come in!”

“Charles? What's wrong? What are you doing in there?”

“I give a tea party, what you're thinking what I'm doing?”

 

Sighing he leaned his head back. Pressing the feeling of sickness back. But it was not easy with Eriks mind so near his own. Especially if he kept on thinking about cooking breakfast of the kids.

 

_Wanda likes eggs, but Charles needs maybe something more …_

 

_Go away, Erik. Please, just … don't think about … thanks to you I need a new towel._

 

~*~

 

Sitting in the bed with his notes, Charles felt now better than in the morning, hours away. He even felt a little hungry, so he went in his pajama in his kitchen. Feeling the kids train with Azazel and Erik, let him look out of the kitchen window. For a long moment he just watched them with growing warmth in his chest, until his stomach growled softly.

 

“Hey stranger.”

 

Surprised he looked to Raven, who was standing in the doorway. She was in her natural form, but dressed in a pair of jeans and t-shirt. Smiling at her, he opened the refrigerator.

 

“Hey, darling.”

 

They had gotten a little bit softness back in their relationship and Charles was very happy about it. Even if Erik was still suspect about it, doesn't wanting Charles to be again disappoint and hurt.

 

“Erik had said you're sick?”

“No … I mean, I was this morning, but it's nothing. Maybe I just had eaten something bad.”

 

Softly he looked at Raven, who watched him very closely. Then she nodded and sat down at the kitchen table. While she made herself comfortable, Charles searched through the refrigerator. It didn't took him long, he found some chocolate pudding the kids had made a few days back for dinner. And while he hadn't eaten much of it then, he suddenly had a craving after it, it made his mouth water. With the whole bowl, he sat down opposite of Raven, who watched him still.

 

“You was sick … and now you're eating pudding?”

 

Shrugging, Charles leaned back in the stool, while probing a leg up, where he could lean into and eat. In his past he was used to eating while cuddling with his legs, feeling very alone or cold. And even if he wasn't alone or cold now, he felt … like he needed to shield himself from … something. It was crazy.

 

He even could feel Ravens concern and irritation about his whole behavior, but he didn't said something about it.

 

~*~

 

It was in the middle of the night, as Charles got awake. Feeling over the soft material of his bedsheets, he felt it cold and empty next to him. Sighing he stand up from the bed, probing carefully through the mansion with his power. Feeling Erik in the library, he walked there. Going in, he took Eriks form in. His shoulders where tense, just like his neck and Charles got to him. Soft he laid his hands on his shoulders. Instantly Erik relaxed and his shoulders slummed a little down.

 

“You should be asleep, _mein Schatz._ ”

“Cannot, when you're not next to me.”

 

Whispering in Eriks ear, Charles probed his chin on Eriks shoulder, looking over it to take a look at the papers Erik was reading. Blinking, he got aware, that this were the papers he got from the incident now months ago.

 

“What are you doing?”

“There are names, Charles … names of people who did this to our kids.”

 

For one moment he didn't understood. Until he did and then Charles walked around the loveseat, where Erik sat. Carefully he took the papers away, laying them on the low table next to them. Then he placed himself on Eriks lab, looking him deep in the eyes.

 

“And you want to hunt them down, like you used to do once?”

 

Wordless, Erik returned his stare. Not that he needed to say something, because Charles could feel it in his mind.

 

“Erik, you know … that's not the right thing to do. It wouldn't do any good to you. And it wouldn't change anything.”

“I know this, it's just … that they'll not end with this. They will get other kids, do more harm, kill more of our kind and I cannot let them continue.”

 

Charles swallowed. Deep and very down in himself there was always the fear of Erik leaving him.

 

“And … what … what does this means for us? I mean … I …”

“It just means, that I will end this. Not us, of course, Charles. I love you and I want to be with you, but I cannot sit here, playing family, while there are still people like us, suffering through the hands of humans.”

 

Letting his eyes sank down to his hands, Charles realized he couldn't keep looking at Erik anymore. Not without feeling suddenly angry and sad and betrayed. And the feeling got so heavy, that he felt once again sick.

 

“I … cannot believe you're doing this … again.”

“Charles? Nein.”

 

Erik, who wanted to touch him, got his hands slapped away from Charles. He stood up from his position, laying his hands on his stomach. His mind felt dizzy and he wanted to breath, what wasn't easy with the feeling of his tight throat.

 

“Charles, I don't want to leave you, I'm not leaving you. I will just - ...”

“Kill humans.”

“Will you let me ...”

 

Again Charles slapped Eriks hands away.

 

“Don't touch me. Don't ...”

 

Biting his lips, Charles took several steps back from Erik. Looking up again, he shook his head.

 

“When you do this, Erik … again ...”

“Charles, please.”

 

He swallowed the bile away, while tears running down his cheeks.

 

“When you do this, then I don't want you to come back. Because … that's not something I will tolerate. You, doing revenge and … no. Are you realizing what this will do to Peter? Or Wanda or the rest of them? Have you thought about me, in this whole story? Can't you just … leave it alone? Because I had thought this is _not_ just playing family, but it's your family, Erik. It's ours. But when you'll leave, then don't come back, because you leave me once and I can forgive you this. I'm so fucking … in love with you, that you can do nearly anything to me, Erik. But _not_ to them. You will not hurt _your own_ kids.”

 

With this he turned around and ran out of the library. Charles got away not two meters, till he ripped the first door open he got to and vomit onto the floor. Dizzy and breathless, he leaned against the wall. Shaking and crying, he felt never before so betrayed. Not even in Cuba, when he laid bleeding and motionless in the hot sand.

 

~*~

 

At the next morning, as Charles carefully glided with his power through the mansion, he could feel Eriks mind. But even if he heard him clear in his mind, that he'll stay, they both knew that what's happened in the night, has done something to their relationship, they could never repair.

 

~*~

 

“I'm concerned about Charles.”

“So, I'm not imagination things?”

 

Darwin looked up from the newspaper. Watching Raven and Hank, he closed the papers.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Hank, next to him, sighed softly, before pushing the glasses up his nose.

 

“He's like … changed. Charles is so silent in the last time. Even when he's with the kids. I mean he smiled and … he seems happy, but there is something …”

“I know what you mean. I think he's sad, because of Erik.”

“What?!”

 

Darwin was a little startled, at Ravens outburst. She looked furious and he didn't even knew why. Because from what he had heard, she was the one, leaving Charles without any word.

 

“I had heard them fight a few days back. Charles had said something about leaving him because of … killing somebody, I don't know, because it wasn't really clear to me without the context. But after it, I had found Charles. He … wasn't in a very good condition. But he didn't wanted me to tell anybody.”

“But Erik's not leaving. I mean, today he had told Peter about never going away.”

 

He shrugged a little, while Raven looked like she wanted to break the table they sat at. Hank looked at the same time just angry and concerned.

 

“I knew he would do this again to Charles. After all this time … I knew he would hurt him again.”

“Then we needed to make sure he don't do this again! We need to make Erik clear, that leaving Charles and the kids, is the wrong thing to do.”

 

Determined, Darwin looked at his friends. Then the two nodded, before standing up. They had a mission to attend to.

 

~*~

 

Sitting on the floor, Charles hugged his legs. His back was again leaned against the cold tiles, while he fight the urge to vomit. It was the 17th day in a row of wrenching his insides out. Fact was, he didn't know why he was so ill, when he was hours later good again. It was … maybe the anxiety of Erik leaving. But he was sick before. Maybe he had heard this thoughts subliminal. Without really realizing it.

 

“Charles?”

 

Hearing Eriks soft voice, made his insides clench, which made Charles hugging his legs harder. Pressing his face between his knees, he just hoped the other would disappear. But right after this thought, it brought tears in his eyes, because, no, he didn't wanted him to leave.

 

They didn't even talked after what's happened nine days ago. Just when they were with the kids, they act like they used to be, but alone …

 

Suddenly the door got open and then he felt a soft touch on the back of his head.

 

“ _Oh Gott,_ Charles!”

 

Charles couldn't hold back the shiver, that run over his back, as Eriks fingers ran over the back of his sweaty neck. They where so wonderful cold at his too hot skin.

 

“You're practical burning. Shit, can you … can you move?”

 

_No … so sick …_

 

He couldn't even think, without feeling like he needed to vomit.

 

“Okay … then … then I will lift you up, okay. Just close your eyes and don't think about it. Just … just trust me.”

 

Charles would trust Erik with his life and maybe this was so wrong, so … but at the same time, he knew that he couldn't help himself. So he tried to concentrate on his breathing, while feeling Eriks arms sliding around him, before lifting him up.

 

“Shit, Charles, have you … loose weight?”

 

Pressing his lips together, Charles didn't trust himself to answer, without fearing that this would just make this more embarrassing than it already was. Feeling Eriks concern growing, just like his anger about himself doing this to Charles, he felt a little stupid, for not saying something to Hank. Maybe his friend could have helped him with this. Or he could have given Charles a cure for his morning sickness.

 

Before he knew it, Erik laid him carefully down on their bed, pushing Charles sweaty hair from his forehead.

 

“ _Liebling, Schatz._ Why, haven't you said something? I … I'm right back, okay. I'll just get Hank and then we'll talk about this. I'll hurry!”

 

With this, Erik ran out of their bedroom. Charles watched with his half open eyes, before closing them again. He wished so much, that they would be okay again. But … this wasn't … possible. Not like this, not when Erik wanted to leave …

 

“Charles, are you awake?”

“Hm.”

 

The sound he made, should make him embarrassed, but it was all he could make, as he felt Hanks hand touch his forehead.

 

“He's too hot, Erik. That's not good!”

“I know that, what I want is that you'll help him.”

“But … I'm not a doctor. I can … what's his history?”

“What?”

 

While they two began to speak over his head above him, Charles tried to use his power, to make himself aware of them. Because he didn't like the way they ignored him. Even if he knew it was just because they wanted to help him.

 

_I'm sick, Hank. Since … it's now … I think it's the 17 th day. I'm sick in the morning … feeling dizzy and it's hot. But later in the day it's … over and I'm good again. But I think it's … nothing._

 

“Nothing, Charles? Why the fuck hasn't you said something? 17 days? That's right after you had come back. Why not thinking about your little friend poison you?”

“That could be possible.”

 

Eriks words where full of anger, but also very concerned and Charles felt warm, but at the same time a little angry, because he know, Steve wouldn’t do such a thing ever.

 

_No he wouldn't …. I'm sorry, my friend, but … no, Steve would never do such a thing._

 

“But, when it's not this … I … maybe you just … sick because of your … the argument you two had about a few days ago?”

“What are you saying, that I'm making Charles sick? And what we speaking about is nothing of your - ...”

“Erik … please stop.”

 

Slowly, Charles sat up, while he held his forehead. Instantly Erik was by his side, wrapping an arm around his form, so he could help him. Hank sat down on the other side, careful taking Charles wrist in his hand for feeling his pulse.

 

“I'm sorry, Erik. You're right. It's nothing of my business, but he's not in a good condition. He's feverish, his pulse is racing and he's lost weight. I need to do a few tests with his blood. If this is okay.”

“Do, what you need to do. But please … hurry.”

 

While Hank leaved, Charles head sunk on Eriks shoulder to his right. Suddenly he just felt very tired and it didn't took him very long to fell asleep.

 

~*~

 

In the evening Charles felt once again okay. But it was the up and down of his health, that made him so tired. It's the reason he didn't leave his room for a long time. Suppressing his power, Charles didn't wanted to burden the kids or his friends with his sickness. But it didn't took long, he became his first visits from the kids. First it was Ororo with a Snow Globe, she had brought for him with Riptide, with the words, that snow made her happy. Then came Jean, saying, that she felt always ill, when fighting with Scott. And after them, it was Wanda and Peter. Together they came in his room, just, as Charles thought they should be asleep.

 

“We cannot sleep, before knowing, that you'll soon okay.”

 

Peter climbed onto his bed, next to Charles, where he laid, while Wanda sat a little stiff on the edge. She and Charles had a good relationship, but he had the feeling, she didn't liked him very much because of his power of reading minds.

Smiling softly at the two, Charles took Peters little hand.

 

“It's nothing, really. You see, I'm already good, again. Nothing that shouldn't go away with a little sleep.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Promise?”

 

Charles looked from Peter, to Wanda, who watched him with fierce eyes. Then he swallowed, before he nod.

 

“I promise, honey.”

 

With that, little Peter cuddled himself at Charles side, while he wrapped his arms around his form. Then he looked back at Wanda, which eyes were still sharp.

 

_You're lying._

_I'm not. I just don't know what makes me sick. But it will get away. I just don't like to see your brother unhappy._

_That's not what I mean. What you have … it'll not go away with little sleep. And your problems with my dad … too. So stop lying to my brother and yourself. I hate this!_

 

Charles blinked at her harsh thoughts. Then she got up and ran out of the room. Leaving Charles with a sleeping Peter by his side. But even with him, he felt … cold.

 

~*~

 

As Erik came to sleep, he saw Charles, with little Peter asleep. It made his heart clench hard.

 

_I had thought this is not just playing family, but it's your family, Erik. It's ours._

 

The words stuck still in his mind. Even after now nearly two weeks, he couldn't stop think about this evening. Over and over again. It was such a … mistake. It was just one moment of weakness, that brought his old self out again. Wanting revenge so fucking much, that he just … wasn't really thinking. 

 

And it had hurt Charles so much. He had felt it, in his own mind. And he saw it days after the fighting. Even if he was staying, he felt like he had betrayed Charles. Because he didn't wanted to leave him. Never. What he did back then, wasn't his life now. He was now a better man. At least he had thought so. 

 

But now … seeing Charles so sick … he wasn't sure if he was now a better man. 

He now felt badder. Because they were now so much more, than ever before and saying something about leaving Charles for fucking revenge … was a mistake. Something, he would never do. Not again. He had done this mistake once, he wouldn't do it twice. But it wouldn't change what happened on this evening. And he felt, like this could be something, that would ruin their relationship. 

 

Charles even didn't let himself touch anymore. At least not from Erik. Today was the first time, after this fight, Charles had accept his touch. But it was while he wasn't in the state to make right decisions, so Erik felt like an intruder. 

 

But now … seeing Charles and his son like this … 

He felt all over like the biggest  _Schmock_ on earth history. And then, after this, he had an epiphany so hard, it nearly took his breath away. 

 

~*~

 

His mind was reeling. 

This must be a … 

This couldn't be … 

 

“It's … I have done seven tests, Charles. And every one was positive. And even Erik said … that this was characteristic for ...”

“I know what it is, it was a category in one of my classes.”

 

But it didn't made any sense. 

 

“I think … you know, the cure you got … and then Eriks little accident …”

 

Charles looked at Hank, who stood very unsure next to the bed he was lying, inside of his lab. 

 

“So, I think that it's … maybe brought together, while you two had sex with each other it … reacted … and now you're ...”

“Pregnant?”

“I wouldn't go this way. Maybe it's just a false pregnancy. But we can only get sure … with time.”

 

Shock ran through him, as he heard Hanks words. A little pitch got into his voice, as he began to speak. 

 

“Just wait a second, Hank. Do you mean … you're not even really sure this could be the craziest scenario ever be. No, no, you're saying additional, that I - no - we cannot … I don't know, be happy about this or something, because you're _not sure_?!” 

“Charles … that has never happened before to a … a … a man.”

“Really?!”

 

Rolling with his eyes, Charles looked at his lap, then to his flat stomach. 

 

“No, no, you can be happy.”

“And then, after finding out we were wrong, what's then?”

 

Again he looked at Hank, who suddenly got very quite. Then he saw Erik in the eyes and shook his head. 

 

“Let me alone. You all - out!”

“Charles - ...”

“OUT!”

 

After Erik and Hank were out of the labor, Charles hugged his knees, while pillowing his chin on them. Letting out a soft cry, he asks himself if he could love something, that he wasn't even sure it existed. Because … it would break him, if it wasn't there. He knew if this was possible, he would be the happiest person ever, but … alone to think about this, hurt him so much, because it was just … impossible. 

 

So … what should he do, when he felt never so much alone, like in the last days. 

 

_What the fuck should I do …?_

 

~*~ to be continue ~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First: Thank you all, for your lovely kudos. Makes me very happy, but now ... I think I need little more for the future of this story, because ... 
> 
> What do you want? I never had written something about m-preg. But I'm not against it. I like to read good m-preg-storys. But if you against this, then please say it. This story wants to get written. But without any help of your words, it's getting it's own way. So ... let me hear your thoughts.
> 
> Greetings <3


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